Milk making blues...

In my very first blog I mentioned that there were many paths that my life had taken recently that I had never expected to find myself on. Today I am going to blog about one of those paths... breastfeeding an adopted child.

To be honest, until we were a month or so into adoption process I had no idea this was even a possibility. It wasn't until I started announcing to close friends and family members that we planned on adopting that I found out that it was. My first reaction to the idea was less than positive... I mean, is it natural to do that? How much work would it be and how much would it cost? What if I failed at it? Would it make me feel even worse about my body's ability to take care of a child? For these last reasons, DH has been unsure as to whether or not he should support my decision.

However, my interest in inducing lactation increased as more and more of my friends and family recommended it. So I started to research it online and discussed it with my wonderful discussion board friends, my gynecologist and my naturpathic doctor (I told you I was a hippy!). My gynecologist wasn't as keen on the idea because I have a very delicate hormonal balance and she was afraid I would make things worse by increasing my prolactin (the hormone associated with lactation) levels. But from everyone else I found the following benefits:

1. Great bonding opportunity (a given)
   
2. Health benefits for River (though I won't be able to produce colostrum)
   
3. Increase chances of getting pregnant (post breastfeeding of course)

I already knew the first two and really wanted that for my son and my relationship with him. As I'm sure any adopting mothers can attest, this process comes with huge fears that either the child won't recognize me as his mother or I wouldn't feel like his mother... just like a babysitter for a child whose parents never came to pick him up. So I was immediately attracted to those benefits. However, the last one definitely caught my attention. It was completely unexpected and as a woman with fertility issues, ANYTHING that increases chances of getting pregnant piques my interest. So if you don't mind if I digress off the topic of lactation momentarily, here is an idea of what commitment I've made to getting pregnant:

What I've done - read stacks of books on infertility, spent significant money on ovulation predictor kits, preseed and pregnancy tests, woke at 5 am even on the weekends to get accurate basal body temperatures (bbt) to chart and determine the health of my cycle, seen a naturpathic doctor and an acupuncturist, seen my gynecologist SEVERAL times each time breaking down in tears in front of her, timed "doing the deed" based on ovulation schedule, sat in very uncomfortable positions for long periods of time after "the deed" to increase chances of getting pregnant, spent hours and hours online researching tricks on how to increase my chances of conceiving, posted daily questions for ladies on the trying to conceive boards, meditated, did special fertility yoga at the end of each cycle and of course prayed, fasted, and cried (a lot).

What I've taken - currently take over 50 vitamins and supplements a day on recommendation of naturpathic doctor and acupuncturist, drink really gross tea the second half of my cycle to help tone ovaries, take baby aspirin every other day during the second half of my cycle to increase blood flow to the uterus and ovaries, and I tried Clomid for one month.

So, you can see now why this would catch my attention! With all three of those HUGE benefits I decided to go ahead and do it knowing that not everyone would support my decision. I'm sure everyone has those same thoughts that I did early on, but they don't have the opportunity to work through them for the benefit of an adopted child like I did.

Now that I have given some background, here is where I am at right now. I have been pumping now for a little over 3 weeks. I rented a medical grade pump from a local pharmacy and try to pump as often as possible. I should be pumping every 3-4 hours (even at night) but with my schedule that is next to impossible. I generally pump 2-3 times a day and am hoping to up that to 4-5 now that River's arrival is really not that far off. I may even get so bold as to start pumping at work. We'll see how desperate I get because I named this post "Milk making blues" for a reason... I'm still not producing much milk! Maybe a half dozen drops a DAY. River can't live off of that! I also take herbal supplements to increase milk supply including Blessed Thistle Seed, Fenugreek Seed, and Borage Oil. I also take a tincture called "Mother Love Herbs" and "More Milk Tea" because I couldn't find hops tea (yes, the same hops used to make beer and which my mother in law describes as tasting like old dirty socks that a teenager has worn for a month straight) to help as well. Any other recommendations from ladies who have done this before?

I am not totally on my own with this, though. I also purchased a supplemental nursing system called LactAid from my wonderful friend Ruth so that will help because he can nurse but also get supplemental formula from the nursing system. I'm hoping that if anything, once he's here and regularly feeds using the LactAid system maybe that will help me with my seemingly failed attempt to induce lactation? Maybe? Hopefully? If anyone has experience with this, let me know. And of course if anyone is considering doing the same and has any questions feel free to post them and I will do my best to answer them with my limited knowledge.

I hope I haven't scared anyone away from potentially breastfeeding an adopted child. Instead I just wanted to share my thoughts and frustrations on the topic to get feedback from those with experience and to let those considering it or in the process like me know that you aren't alone. I would highly recommend it to any other potential adopting mothers and I can tell you 100% that the sacrifice for your child will be worth it.

I apologize for the length of this post but want to say thanks to all of those who have made it to the end with me. Here are some pictures of the pump and supplemental system I am using.

My new ball and chain:

My supplemental nursing system (Thanks Ruth!!):

And the verdict is...

... not going to be revealed yet! Sorry. According to the poll, Little Frog won by one vote. However, some votes came in from people who didn't get a chance to vote using the poll and of course DH still needed to vote, too! We have tallied the votes and are considering the front runners based on price. Once we decide, purchase and set up the winning candidate we will post pictures. Thank you all for your support and of course for voting!

Since we don't have a winner to announce yet, I thought I would take this opportunity to brag a little on my husband. On Saturday August 9th DH passed the Masters Plumbing License exam! And without even studying for it that much. He may not think so, but I know that he is one smart cookie. As an engineer (who one would consider to be smart) I am always jealous of how intelligent, quick and practical his thought process is. I consider him more of an engineer than I am because he can "engineer" anything. I like to call him MacGyver, not because he has a rockin' mullet (though he used to!), but because he can take the most simple items and use them to create something very useful. He's definitely the guy you'd want to have with you if you ever found yourself lost in the woods. Plus, he's some serious eye candy, too!

So CONGRATULATIONS B.Dole (that is his nickname) for a job well done on your test and on Black Hollow Plumbing. And thank you for all of your support over the past 6 years that we have been together. I don't know what I would do without you!

Here are some then/now pictures of DH. The first picture was taken at a live show with his first band Cat Gut Scrapper back in 2000. The second picture was taken in our basement while he and his friend Aaron (the same one that gave us the crib) jammed this year with their new band With Nico In The Basement. Just in case you are wondering, yes! that is Aaron to the right of DH in both pictures. If it weren't for Aaron, DH would still be living in Montana so we owe a lot of thanks to him!

River will have one cool dad don't you think?

Crib sets, not Presidents

As the days remaining before River's arrival seem to plummet at an alarming rate, my excitement is starting to turn into panic. I must embarrassingly report that his nursery has not progressed much since the "Before" pictures were taken. This has caused me considerable stress because I feel that it reflects poorly on my organizational and mothering skills. Dumb, I know especially since he'll be in a bassinet in his mom and dad's room for the first few months of his life!

However, I don't want to slack on this because if I think things are busy now, when River arrives I will be beside myself! I have found 6 crib sets that I like online because I can't find anything at Target that we like (let's not even discuss the drama with Babies 'R' Us right now!) and I need all of the help I can get narrowing it down so we can purchase a crib set and get that out of the way! So in honor of this years historic election, I'm holding an early election... but on crib sets instead of Presidents :)

Before I unveil the pictures of the crib sets I like, allow me to give you a little info on our theme. I like the colors blue, green and brown (as you can see from the crib set candidates) and like bears, monkeys and frogs for themes. We already have the light green sign and frog from my sister that MUST be included so don't forget to choose which one you think would match those as well. Our crib is light blond wood, the carpet is baby blue, the trim in the room is dark wood (70's style), and the walls will be painted a neutral off white color/tan color. That being said, I would like to introduce to you the 2008 Crib Set Candidates for River's Nursery... May I get a drum roll please?

Day at the Zoo



Baby Boy Blue



Spunky Monkey



Papagayo



Jungle Tales



Little Frog



In addition to the picture, if you click on the title, it is linked to a page with more details on each set. Please take some time to browse through the candidates and once you have made your decision, vote using the poll on the left side of the page. If you choose the "Other" category and have other suggestions, please include a link in a comment or email if you have my email address. For all those who have had problems posting comments, please don't fear the poll. It is as simple as a couple of clicks, just check the one you like and then hit "vote!" You can vote for more than one if you are undecided and you can vote as many times as you'd like. The poll will be open for the next 6 days at which time we will announce the winner and post pictures of the candidate once it is purchased and set up :)

Thank you all for your help! I can't wait to see which candidate wins!

Give Peace a Chance (3D Ultrasounds)

Today we got to go with Angie and get a 3D ultrasound of little River. It is a free service offered by the clinic that she goes to for prenatal care which was great because otherwise they are expensive!

I have had butterflies in my stomach all day and they got exponentially worse as we made the trip up to the ultrasound room. River is only 6 weeks away from his due date so I was afraid he might be too squished to get any good pictures of him. When the tech took the first picture I was afraid my suspicions had been confirmed because all we could see was a really blurred face that made him look like Michael from the Halloween movies with a mask over his face! But, with a little patience we were able to get some great pictures.

I may be a little biased, but I think he is gorgeous! He looks like a perfect little angel. Though he kept on playing with his lips and making faces at us, so perhaps behavior wise he isn't as angelic as he looks :) Check out the pictures and let me know if you agree!

I love how he has his little fingers in his mouth. He kept on playing with his lips which was so cute. It also looks like he's giving us a peace sign so maybe he was just letting me know that he is a hippy too. Regardless, I am just in awe of how perfect he is. He has the cutest little button nose, pouty little lips, chubby cheeks and everything you could ask for in a handsome little baby boy!

Only bad thing about these pictures is now I am getting extremely impatient and can't wait for his birth! My arms just ache every time I look at these pictures because they are ready to hold him and love him infinitely!

Why snake?

Okay, so this is one post that I am really anxious to have reader participation on. So put on your commenting shoes and we'll be on our way... If you have ever wondered why I chose the name "snake" on the trying to conceive discussion boards or the name "riversnake" for my blog, regardless of whether you know me online or in person, I am writing this post for you!

When I first signed on to tryingtoconceive.com to participate in the discussion boards (almost one year ago) I had to come up with a screen name to login. Without hesitation I typed "snake" into the appropriate box. It wasn't until I started reading everyone elses screen names that I realized how weird my name may be to those who didn't know why I chose this as my screen name. So here is my first question for you all to answer in your comments. What was your first thought when you saw my screen name? (i.e. did you think I was weird, did you hesitate to respond to my posts, etc.)

My husband is very cute in the way he expresses his love for family, friends and of course ME! You know you mean something to my husband if he gives you a nick name. His nick names are rarely normal and always evolve until he hits one he really likes and then it sticks. Here are some examples of his nick names... His older brother's nick names are Harry, Lumpy and Shave (or Sheila). Side note: his brother's with the nick names Harry and Lumpy both had them tattooed on their feet! His younger sister's nick name is Jim Bob Jones. He calls his mom Lyn Crow or Moose. Our dogs nick names are Mouse, Crow or Pouncer for our female boxer and Chad or Elk for our male boxer.




My nick names over the 6 years we have been together have included Jail (my name, Jill, said with a southern accent), Snail, Pail, Piley (because I pile mail and other junk around the house), Latey (because I'm always late), and the list could go on if my memory was better. However, for the last 6 months to a year, my nick name has been... you guessed it Snake! And since my partner in crime trying to conceive and adopting has been my husband I only thought it fitting to wear the nick name that he honorably bestowed upon me loud and proud!

So there you go! That is the official reasoning behind the screen name "snake." However, I will answer to the name of snake, riversnake, or my real name Jill. Whichever you prefer. Just not "Jill Pill." There is only one person on this earth that can call me that, and that is my mom! As an extra treat if you'd like to put a face to the name, here is a picture of my husband and I with my niece and nephew sitting outside of Casa Bonita, a true Denver landmark!



Now my final question for all of you is if you had to guess the reason behind my screen name, what would you have guessed? Can't wait to hear all of your answers!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Sincerely,
Jill (jail, snail, pail, piley, latey, snake, riversnake)

p.s. You all know where the "river" part of "riversnake" came from right?

p.p.s The pictures that I posted didn't come out very well so if you click on them you should be able to view them from my photobucket album and get a much better quality picture. Let me know if it still doesn't work for you!

p.p.p.s If you don't know how to comment see this post.