First Observation of Race

This weekend, River made his first observation of race.  It was neat to get the conversation going about diversity but daunting at the same time.  The process of investigating transracial adoption made me realized just how seriously a problem racism is even now in what we would like to believe is a more enlightened society.  It is difficult for those of us in the majority to see it.  It is subtle, and systemic now but still an issue that needs to be addressed.  As a result I resolved to be a more purposeful parent in raising my children to appreciate diversity, not fear it.  However, when the topic finally came up, despite my resolve, I still felt like an unprepared, uninformed, white mama.  

The story goes like this: 

As we were leaving the grocery store we encountered a young girl probably in her tweens, waiting for her family out front with the family dog.  This girl was also most likely of of hispanic/latino heritage. Being the animal lover that River is he whispered to me, "Can I pet the dog?"  I told him we should ask the girl first because she was the dog's owner.  In his typical shy demeanor he whispered his request for permission.  Luckily, she didn't have to hear him to know what he was asking and told him he was welcome to pet the dog.  While petting the dog we made small talk about the gender and name of the dog and then went on our merry way. 

As we drove away River asked me, "Is that a red lady?"  River doesn't know colors like brown, black, white, or gray very well so the closest he could come up with to describe the color of the girl's skin was red.  I asked him if he noticed that the girl had a beautiful rich color to her skin that was darker than ours.  This question was over his head so I proceeded to do my best to stammer explain in terms I thought he could understand that everyone has different features depending on their heritage and that is what makes each individual and each different heritage so special.

So, my question for you readers is how have you discussed the issue of race with your children?  Are there good resources you would recommend?  Children's books you would recommend?  I would recommend to everyone the blog Love Isn't Enough - on raising a family in a colorstruck world but anxious to hear what you all have to say as well! 

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and recommendations :)

Diggin' Up Bones - A success story in pictures...

Saturday morning I woke up early to work on taxes and to bury little dollar store dinosaurs and bugs in the fresh patch of earth in our yard where one of our trees used to stand watch.  Later that day when the sun sent the nip in the air off to the mountains for a spa day River and I set out to dig'em up.  To say this activity was a success would be an understatement.  River loved being able to use "shobels" (aka shovels... to-may-to, to-mah-to) and tractors to dig up these little treasures so much that we spent 4+ hours outside doing just that.

We have entered the era of cheesey smiles :)

 

 

I managed to get some yard work in as well and to River's utter delight I found a toy car in the tangle of vegetation and dead leaves I was cleaning out by our deck.  It wasn't just any toy car either... it was Strip "The King" Weathers in all of his Dinoco blue glory which some of you may recognize if you have ever watched the movie "Cars" so many times you want to gouge out your eyes and ears every time your child asks to watch "Tow-Mater" again.  He also dug up his first earthworm which was again cause for much excitement and celebration.

This weekend we are off to Estes Park to enjoy the beauty of the mountains and to scare ourselves silly staying at the infamous Stanley Hotel.  It is absolutely beautiful, notorious, and inspirational for horror writers looking to write a good book about going crazy and trying to hack your family to pieces with an axe (All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy).  And Groupon generally has GREAT deals there once or twice a year so we are staying there for a reasonable price. It is rediculously expensive otherwise.  Bucket list item will be hacked crossed off this weekend :)

"I'm diggin' up bones, I'm diggin' up bones
Exhuming things thats better left alone
I'm resurrecting memories of a love that's dead and gone
Yeah tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones."

~ Diggin' Up Bones, Randy Travis

Oh my... where do I even start?

It is Friday and I'm not going to even pretend that I am being a dedicated engineer at work today.  At first I was just happily perusing the internet catching up on blogs and recent pins when I came across the following pin on that horribly addicting site:

I usually don't look at this kind of stuff.  It isn't about DIY crafts.  But the babies' faces were interesting and I was bored enough to inspect further.  Now I'm spitting mad with my blood pressure so high I can hear my heart beat in my ears.  The worst part?  This pin was added to a board titled, "Happy Thoughts."  Really?  Because I am not at all happy after reading it!  Unless this is opposite day, in which case I am very "happy."

I know that in general these things come from a place of ignorance instead of malice so instead of tearing the pinner a new one I simply commented:

"What is wrong with being adopted?"

Adoptees each have individual experiences with their adoption but that is their story to share.  It shouldn't be the butt of a joke.  At least that is how I see it.  However, I see stuff like this through the eyes of an adoptive parent that wonders the impact that this kind of joking may have on my son who won't get a "j/k" at the end of the adoption discussion.

I would love to hear everyone else's thoughts on this.  How would you handle it if you came across this?  Please share your thoughts even if you aren't a member of the adoption triad.  It is just as informative.

Thank you, and I apologize if you are now as spitting mad as I am.  I don't want to ruin anyone's Friday.

It's Not All "Woe Is Me"...

I promise!  We've been enjoying the beautiful warm weather here in Colorado, soaking it in and warming our souls in ways we haven't been able to the last 4-6 months.  I swear, for me, open windows with the sounds of the community surrounding our home could pull me out of any funk.  Kids playing, dogs barking, people happily chatting as they power walk down the street?  Try to top that concerto, Beethoven!  Add to that the lake thawing out and beckoning to us with its lazy waves?  It might just turn me into one of those "half full" people :)

Also, thanks to my new social media addiction... Pinterest... our play time has become so much more creative.  And the hat trick is complete! 

Check out these pictures from our "play cooking" adventure:

I just put random ingredients in a muffin tin like lasagna noodles that had been hanging around for too long to be useful, marshmallows, white chocolate chips, herbal tea bags, raisins, wheat berries, popcorn kernels, saltwater taffy and a sweet cutie.

Then gave him pots, bowls, measuring utensils, mixing spoons and spatulas and let him measure, mix and "cook" on the play stove (lid from a plastic storage bin).

This was the mix before it went into the pots to "cook."  River LOVED this and I loved this idea so much I started following Jessie at her blog called Play Create Explore.  She has great ideas for preschooler activities and I love that she isn't afraid to get messy.  As she says in her blog (and I'm paraphrasing)... what only requires 10-20 minutes of cleanup could make memories for your child(ren) for a lifetime.  Definitely worth it. 

Next activity for this weekend?  Hiding dollar store dinosaur bones in the freshly dug patch of earth in our yard where the beautiful Russian Olive tree stood until the crazy winds we've had round these parts pulled it up by the roots.  It was sad to see it go.  According to the number of rings I counted in the stump it was the same age as I am. 

We'll make the most of it, though, and River will just about think he died and went to heaven when he gets to dig up bones with his numerous tractor toys.  At least the tree went first instead of this horrible atrocity I found in one of the books we once checked out from the library:

Scoop and Muck, you should be ashamed of yourselves...  You are not invited to my hippy commune!