Fortune-ate Son

The weekend after Thanksgiving we were blessed with the opportunity to meet up with (if only for a short time and outside in the freezing cold) our good friends Lori (one of my closest friends since 5th grade) and Evan and their two adorable tots, Jack and Emme. It was the first time we had met Emme and the first time they had met River since they live in IA and we live in CO. Unfortunately, Emme had finally fallen asleep right before we met up so it was just Jack and River that got to hang out. Despite their major age difference (Jack just turned 5) they had a blast playing together.


As we were about to leave Jack gave River several plastic elephants that linked together to play with in the car and a fortune cookie. The fortune in the cookie read:

"The project you have in mind will soon gain momentum."

At first I thought it was pretty lame because River is only 14 months old, what kind of project could he have in mind? But, recently this fortune has become "prophetic." I use "quotations" because I do not believe fortune cookies are really prophetic ;) However, it is interesting because River has since gained momentum in what one might call a project...

He has FINALLY developed a real interest in starting to walk!

Over the past two weeks River has 1) taken 6-8 steps at a time on his own (10-20 steps at a time if he is pushing his toy lawn mower even though it only offers imagined support to keep him upright), 2) really taken to walking around as often as possible with the support of one or both of my hands, and 3) started moving from a sitting to a standing position without any support. He also has started purposefully turning while walking on his own to reach an interesting destination and often chooses walking over crawling. These are all HUGE developments for River. Previously I would have said that River wouldn't be walking by the end of the year. But now it is a very real possiblity!

So cheers to Jack, fortune cookies, good friends, and babies becoming toddlers!

Fourteen Months!

River is 14 months old now!

Recent developments:

• Can say: Light, kitty, and Hi in addition to "ma ma ma ma", "da da da da" and "mi mi mi mi."
  


• Has started pointing at everything.
  


• Blows on his food when it is hot (and sometimes when it is not). Seriously this is the cutest thing I have ever witnessed in all of the years of my life.
  


• Climbs (or at least attempts to climb) everything in sight. With no regard to the heart attacks his attempts can cause Cory and I. I have been trying to work with him on proper climbing techniques so that through all of the panic and fear it induces he can develope the motor skills and the thought processes required to use the right limbs and grab in the right places to successfully and safely make it up whatever he is climbing.
  


• Standing on his own for up to 30 seconds. He is still not walking and is only mildly interested in it. We encourage it as often as possible but are trying not to push him too hard. I didn't walk until I was 18 months! Also, some research shows that the longer a baby crawls the better fine motor and cognitive skills they have as children.
  


• Makes the sign for milk but uses it simply as an indication that he wants whatever you have. Probably because I always made the sign while asking him, "Do you want milk?" I guess he picked up on "want" as opposed to "milk."
  


• Picks up a cell phone (or any object similar in shape) and puts it to his ear and pretends he is talking on it.
  


• Has 8 teeth on the bottom (including 2 molars) and 6 teeth on top (including 1 molar).
  

Favorite Activities:

• Crawling and climbing all over things.
  


• Pounding on the keyboard of our laptop. Yes, I know we will one day regret indulging this activity. It is just so cute because he'll bang away at the computer and then put his hand on the mouse and move it around like he knows what he is doing.
  

• Driving trucks or anything that he can push on the carpet like he can push his trucks.
  


• Playing with our kitty Louie.
  


• Wrestling and snuggling with our dogs. Tonight he was having his own little rodeo. He would stand up using the support of the dogs and see how long he could hold on and walk around using their support before they got away from him. At which point he would either sink down to his knees or collapse into giggles on the floor.
  

• Putting tops on and taking them off whatever has a top. Bottles, tupperwear, babyfood jars, etc.
  


• Putting objects into and taking them out of a container.
  


• Building with and knocking down blocks.


• Coloring with crayons, pens, and watercolors on any item he wants to make his canvas... Our walls and couches have served this purpose several times.

He is also developing more of an attention span for reading and loves to flip through the books. It still isn't captivating for him but at least it has progressed from me reading to him while he played with other toys because I couldn't get him to sit on my lap and listen! Now I either read one book and give him another to look through or if he can turn the pages in the book well I let him flip through the pages and just read the page he opens it to. Out of order and lots of repitition but hey at least he is showing more interest in it!

One morning River found this baby doll barrette in a container of my old hair items. In high school and college I wore them often. The first thing he did was put it up to his hair because apparently he knows that is where they go? I don't know where he picked this up as I don't use barrettes anymore but somehow he figured it out. So later that night when he put it up to his hair again I obliged and snapped it in and of course snapped a few pictures. Good to know he is in touch with his feminine side.

A game of cat and mouse.

I've so many posts that I have to put together that they are creating a serious traffic jam in my head. I will also have pictures of Montana and Halloween posted soon. However, I wanted to really quick tell a heart warming event I witnessed tonight before River went to sleep for the night.

Currently we have two dogs and one cat. And the cat, Louie (a girl), would be more accurately described as my cat. She was my cat for 3 1/2 years before I met Cory and once we started dating things went bad between the two of them. There is no love lost between Cory and Louie. They have a mutual hatred for each other. A deep seated and long running hatred that even my best efforts have yet to pacify. She has never had much patience for little kids either and of course (as it always seems to work out) River ADORES her! Though the dogs love River, want to play with him and take his pinches, smacks, and ear pulls in stride, River would prefer to play with Louie. Perhaps because she is smaller and has more colorful long fur, etc. than the dogs she has had more appeal to him. And it isn't just Louie. It is all cats. Samson, the cat at his Nanny Debbie's house is equally as interesting and Gala's cat Fig finally had to swat at River to get him to leave him alone when we visited them in Montana.

Tonight when I brought River downstairs to put him to bed he saw Louie laying at the bottom of the stairs and indicated with outstretched hands that he wanted to get down and play with her. Louie immediately got up as usual since she knows that River is still working on the whole concept of petting and is currently in the hitting/fur pulling phase. So she ran into the laundry room and River crawled after her. Then she ran out of the laundry room and into his nursery. He then proceeded to crawl after her. They continued this back and forth for almost 5 minutes straight. And River was having so much fun and giggling so mischievously that I was practically in tears laughing so hard. Finally I took River upstairs to see if I could rock him to sleep as he was now 1 hour past his bed time. As I related the story to Cory it finally dawned on me that Louie, the anti-child cat was PLAYING with River! If she was really that irritated by River she would have run off and hid or jumped up on the washer or drier to avoid him. I was so proud at that moment of my cat and my son for playing together. I hope they continue to do so because River just might be able to bridge that gap between his cat and his dad :)

Infertility

Just a few things to share on this topic. Even if this is not something you have been affected by or are interested in, I encourage you to take the time to read through this because those of us who have been affected by infertility desperately need the understanding and support from those around us.

First a post from my friend Rhiannon's blog "Pray, Hope, Don't Worry." She has such an amazing perspective on this and her most recent post is just so perfectly written I had to share. Please take the time to check it out. It is short, sweet, and straight to the point.

Second, it speaks volumes that I am about to post this because I don't like country music AT ALL! However, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I was so ecstatic that adoption and infertility were finally being addressed in music that I posted it on my Facebook profile and want to post it here as well. I just get so excited when this is brought to the attention of the general public. Because for the most part it is not something that others want you to discuss.



Finally, and you'll have to excuse my inability to correctly quote the source of this study, but I couldn't find it on Google nor could I find the Yoga Journal issue that addressed the study. So, don't quote me on the source but I'm pretty sure that it was Harvard that conducted a study that showed that women with infertility suffer from depression as frequently as people who have been diagnosed with A TERMINAL DISEASE!!! Yes, a terminal disease. Need I say more?

Fort Collins is a really great place to live, I promise!

I live in a small city called Fort Collins in Colorado. It is located 60 miles north of Denver and 40 miles south of Cheyenne, WY. It is the home of Colorado State University (of which I am an alum) and has a population of around 130,000. We are situated up against the foothills of the Rocky Mountains and are the northernmost city in what is considered Colorado's Front Range. Up until recently our biggest claim to fame has been the fact that we have been named the best city to - live in; raise children in; retire in, start a business in, etc. several times over the last decade or two. Our city has also been mentioned a few times in the cartoon "South Park" (which is an actual region in Colorado around the Breckenridge Ski Resort) and had a brief mention in the movie "Reno 911!: Miami."

That was, of course, until last Thursday when it was thought that a 6 year old little boy, aptly named Falcon, was inside an experimental weather balloon when it accidentally took off from his family's back yard on the south side of Fort Collins just a few blocks from where I work. I was working when it all went down and we were all glued to the live coverage first discovered on local network websites. We were all shocked when we realized that national media outlets and even media outlets in Canada were covering the story as well. We were concerned for the little boy when his whereabouts were unknown and were relieved when he was found hiding in a box in the attic above the garage. And of course we were ticked when the evidence began to mount pointing this out to be a hoax. First of all, because like everyone we feel stupid for falling for it and second because this will most likely be our city's most lasting claim to fame.

This weekend I went down to spend time with family before my cousin leaves to serve a mission in Argentina. Inevitably I was quizzed on Thursdays events. Did I see the balloon? Did I know anything about the family? This week we've received emails from clients from out of state who know our offices are located in the same city as the "Balloon Boy" incident teasing us about the event. So please allow me to set the record straight for all of those reading this who wonder if the Heene family represents the type of people who live in this city and for our posterity reading the printouts of this blog for generations to come, Fort Collins is actually a really nice place to live! The overwhelming majority of us are normal people!! The University is one of the top schools in Veterinary Science (generally takes 1st or 2nd place nationally) and is in the top ten schools for Engineering as well. We have lots of outdoors activities near by and we also have a great artistic community as well. Please do not judge us by the "Balloon Boy" incident. I promise that we are not backward, in-bred hicks up here. We are intelligent, normal people... Or at least I like to think we are. But like Cory asked me on Saturday after we left the ARC thrift store, "Do white trash people know they are white trash? Are we white trash and just don't realize it?"

I'm 34 weeks pregnant?

Wow, so all my life I thought that I would notice I was pregnant at least within the first trimester. But apparently it has flown under the radar now for 34 weeks. I always thought I would be pretty big come 34 weeks but apparently not because I've actually lost weight since the beginning of the summer. However, for the past month or so I've been getting regular emails from Parents.com telling me that I am 31, then 32, then 33, and now 34 weeks pregnant. So I must be pregnant then, right?

I'm totally kidding but I was very confused when these emails started showing up and I received a phone call from Parents.com confirming my registration and giving me millions of sales schpeals for health/life insurance for my child, work from home money making scams, and of course the special deals you get if you sign up for some program for 30 days at a reduced price, etc. They asked when I was due and were equally confused when I explained I ADOPTED a baby boy who was born September 14th, 2008. At first I thought that perhaps they were delayed in processing a registration I had filled out prior to River's birth. As there is no place to indicate that you are adopting and not carrying the child whenever I registered with parent sites pre-placement I would just enter his due date. However, if this week I am 34 weeks pregnant that means that the due date entered into the registration form would be the end of November. So I don't know if that can explain this anomaly. Also I know I didn't sign up for any sites that gave me weekly updates on a pregnancy. Angie forwarded me all of the ones that she received from babycenter.com. The next question is, did someone other than myself register under my name, email address and phone number? Doesn't seem likely but if I didn't then who did? Perhaps one of life's mysteries that will never be explained? Just in case I immediately changed the password on my email account. Perhaps I should also change my name and phone number for good measure ;)

Nothing like a little cat pee to get you motivated in the morning!

Two weeks ago I rushed home from work, quickly packed myself and River, fed everyone, bathed River and brushed all necessary teeth. We then packed our entire family (canine members included) in Cory's work truck and embarked at 8 pm on an all night drive from Ft. Collins, CO to Great Falls, MT. All said a 10 1/2 hour drive. Kudos to Cory (and his trusty engergy sodas for the assist) for driving all night after spending an exhausting day packing the truck and getting most everything ready. We arrived at 6:30 am the next morning. The purpose of the trip was to help my father-in-law with some major construction and remodeling projects around the house, and most importantly spend some much needed time with Gala, Papa Bear, Kelli, Angie, Brandon, Preston, Jodi, Jeremy, Noah, Jeremy (yes, there are two in the family one born into, one married into), etc.

Every day was exhausting, and every day was fun. My mother-in-law took advantage of having us in town and took all the grandkids in Great Falls at the time (only 5 of the total 16) to Sears for portraits. Let me tell you that was an adventure! 5 children ages 4 1/2, 21 mo., 1 year, and 3 mo. old twins. Tears were shed by all, adults included. Luckily we did get some cute pictures and Gala gave River a cute haircut and bought him an adorable little suit to match Preston and Noah's. We got to help dig out the foundation/root cellar area for their new green house using a rented Bobcat. That was fun as I hadn't been able to play around in one of those since I was back in college working for the Engineering Research Center making physical models of rivers. Angie dyed my hair. Black and auburn low lights. It looks super cute and she doesn't even have any formal training yet!

But I digress, because what I really want to talk about is cat pee. Yes, cat pee! Fast forward three days later. We left Great Falls around 8 pm and decided again to just drive straight through. This time it was a colaborative effort between Cory and myself. We got in to Ft. Collins at 7 am dirty, tired, and grumpy because not only had we driven all night but we had also been working hard outside all day prior to leaving. Immediately when we get in the house I hear the warbling meow of my cat Louie. The kind of meow indicating something is wrong. It also was a muffled sound which baffled me because she should have had free reign of the house. Well, much to my chagrin when I closed the door to River's nusery with the express purpose of keeping Louie OUT (she loves to lounge in or under his crib, in the bags of clothes in his closet, etc.) I accidentally closed her IN his nursery. When I opened the door out flew an angry, hungry, thirsty cat, and of course the pungent, dizzying odor of cat pee... Going to work the next day was officially out of the question as I refused to leave the pee festering for any longer than necessary.

Luckily, River's Nanny Debbie had a carpet shampooer and I purchased carpet cleaner at a Janitorial Supply store, the most effective I could find, pre-treated the areas where she peed and then shampooed all the carpet in his room. Did you know you can use a black light to see all of the organic matter on any surface? Well, I know this now and I effectively used this technique in my efforts!

The Good News: While giving the pre-treatment time to work I had some extra time on my hands and FINALLY got around to changing out all of the clothes in River's dresser and closet. Up until this point there were still size 0-3 month clothes in the mix. As a result I didn't have enough room for the clothes size 9-12 month so I was just pulling them out of a tub I had stored clothes this size that we had received as gifts or that were hand-me-downs from friends and family. I also put away all of the big items that are now too young for him like the swing we have and a gym/playmat. They are all now tubbed or bagged up for the next baby. I must say I did tear up as I put everything away. I love to watch how River grows and becomes more interactive each day but seeing all of the little clothes makes me wish he was able to stay that little for a little while longer. And I also was sad because I'm not sure if/when we will be able to have another baby. We couldn't afford fertility treatments or another adoption right now so hopefully good old fashion baby making will work for us this time around.

The Bad News: Unfortunately, though I've repeated this process several times the smell is still detectable. To minimize it we constantly have a fan going in his room and I plan on one last big clean this weekend involving some serious sudsing because apparently cat pee is oily and suds help break it up. Even still this carpet only has to last another month or so until we can finally get an appointment with the hardwood flooring company that Cory is going to exchange work with. Then we can replace the carpet in his nursery with the carpet in the living room (which is only 1 year old) that we are replacing with hardwood floors.

I will post pictures of our trip to MT soon! We didn't take out our camera once so I have to have my MIL and SIL Kelli email me the ones they took on their camera. Hint, hint to both of them if they are reading this ;)

A new look...

I know, I know, I am stating the obvious but I'm just so excited I finally got around to doing this and that I FINALLY got it to work I had to post about it. I had to start from scratch several times because whenever I would change something it kept on reverting to the old style "template" instead of the more flexible "layout." Anyway, plenty of great posts to come now that hopefully life has settled down for a while.

Bye, Bye, Baby...

Shortly after River was born I signed up at babycenter.com after talking to other moms about some of the benefits. One of my favorite features is that weekly you receive emails with articles and activity suggestions appropriate for your baby's age. Each week the email is titled with your baby's age. Up until the week before River's first birthday this was the title for each weekly email, "My Baby This Week - Your 'A'-month-old: Week 'B'." However, on River's Birthday, the days of "My Baby" ended... Now they arrive with a new title, "My Toddler This Week - Your 1-year-old." For some reason this hit me much harder than I expected. Yes, I know my son is a year old now but I wasn't ready to start calling him a toddler! He still isn't toddling around yet and if things continue the way they are now he probably won't be for another month or two. babycenter recognizes the stress this may cause and states:

"Many view the first birthday as the toddler turning point. Others consider your baby a toddler as soon as he starts walking — or, as the case may be, taking his first tentative steps. However and whenever he crosses the line into toddlerhood, it's a bittersweet transition — you miss your little baby even as you delight in your amazing child."

Perhaps to prove he is growing out of the baby phase and asserting his independence River has taken on a pretty interesting new... um... "habit." River has always had amazing bladder control and as a result he has spent quite a significant amount of time nude after his morning diaper is removed or after his bath at night. Perhaps as a result of watching Cory often enough when he goes to the bathroom, River has taken to peeing whenever he is standing up! And yes it is only when he is standing up and has something to pee against that he lets fly. The first time he peed while standing up on a chair. I assumed that it was an accident, cleaned it up and didn't think anything about it until a couple days later after his nightly bath. He pulled himself up into the standing position on the outside of the tub, looked very purposely at me with a mischievous grin and promptly began to pee on the tile! A few days ago after a diaper change he wriggled out of my grasp and headed strait for the screen door. He pulled himself up to a standing position, stared out into the neighborhood beyond and relieved himself. He looked down several times perhaps checking out his wiz trajectory? Ah, good times, good times.

A touching Birthday story

Wouldn't you know all three of us ended up sick this weekend! Even though this is a big day for River, his very first birthday, we are all still nursing ourselves back to health. I wanted to have a big blog event to celebrate but the need to rest and maintain basic order around our house has limited the amount of time I have had over the past few days. So, I will keep it simple for now and share a very touching story from our adventures today.

On our way to the mall to let River climb to his heart's content in the children's play area we stopped at the ARC Thrift Store because Cory needed to get some work pants. While browsing through their children's Halloween costume section a very cute little old lady came up and started talking to River. He was very responsive and full of smiles for her. During our conversation with her I mentioned that it was his first birthday. She then asked if she could give him a dollar to help celebrate. She said she didn't have any great grandchildren yet and her grandsons were all grown. She was also very impressed with how interactive and happy he was to talk to her.

Cory and I were both touched by this act of kindness from a complete stranger. Initially I had planned on putting the dollar in the savings account we are going to start for him with the money he received from Gigi Holladay and Papa Lynne (my grandparents on my dad's side) but Cory had the idea (and so did my Mom) to instead put the dollar in his baby book along with the story of the cute little old lady who was so impressed with him on his first birthday that she wanted to celebrate with him, too!

More pictures to come but in the mean time here are my two favorite.

Playing in the play area in the mall.

Seriously, how can you not laugh hysterically at this picture? Kudos to Cory for capturing this gem :)

Happy Birthday, River! You are one loved little boy. Loved by family, friends and even little old ladies at the store.

On a lighter note... Casa Bonita!

Though River's birthday is still 4 days away, we joined family last week in Denver for a big celebration of 1st birthdays for River and my niece Tessa who's first birthday was August 26th. My sister and I contemplated and debated for a month or so where to hold this momentous occasion and in the end only one place made the cut. None other than the infamous Casa Bonita. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Casa Bonita, it is a true Denver landmark. It is a very large entertainment style Mexican restaurant with a 3 story waterfall that cliff divers jump from and where they have little skits every 30 minutes or so. The skits always center around Black Bart the outlaw or a gorilla that always manages to outsmart its trainer. Generally in either skit SOMEONE ends up falling into the pool at the bottom of the waterfall. Here is a really bad picture of the gorilla skit we watched just before we left.

I tried several times with the flash on our camera but the lighting on the little stage conflicted with the flash. It may be difficult to tell but the trainer is in the middle, his assistant is on the left with the blonde curly wig and the gorilla is on the right in swim trunks. In this particular skit the assisstant ended up in the water and proceeded to splash all of the onlookers. That was until my mom scolded her! Oh my, did my sister and I get a good laugh out of that one!

In addition, there is a live mariachi band to create atmosphere. There are arcades, puppet shows, magic shows, a place where you can get your old time photo taken, and my personal favorite Black Bart's Cave which is a "haunted cave" you walk through. It is quite an eventful restaurant and growing up in Metro Denver it is inevitable that you will have at least ONE birthday party here! Some people love it, some people hate it but you can't deny the impact of the place. It even has an entire episode of South Park dedicated to its glory. (click here if interested in watching the episode)

Here are the pictures of The Official Casa Bonita Birthday Party Experience.

Standing in line to get our food
(Mimi, River, Tessa, Kristen)

You don't go for the food... except for the sopapillas
(Me, River, Shawn, Papa)

1st Birthday Party, 1st sopapilla... not so much of a fan
(Cory and River)

One.Happy.Family
(Cory, River, Me)

River opening his presents
(Mimi, Gigi, River, Me, Kennedy)

Tessa's turn :)
(Jenny, Tessa, Abby)

River's new truck
(River, Mimi)

I want to jump off the cliff now!
(Cory, River)

One.Loved.Little.Boy
(Kennedy, River, Collin, Abby)

To illustrate the exhaustion that comes after an over stimulating, fun night with family, sopapillas, gorillas, and Black Bart, here is the first thing River did when we got home. I wish I would have snapped the picture in time to catch him with his thumb in his mouth!

In the Casa Bonita episode of South Park Cartman convinces his friend Butters that the world has been destroyed by a commet and that canibal zombies now roam the earth just to keep him hidden in a bomb shelter so that he can go to Casa Bonita for Kyle's birthday instead of Butters. Butters' parents are a mess, the community is in upheaval and Cartman almost gets away with it. In the end the police chase Cartman through Casa Bonita while he does everything he had been dreaming of... eating sopapillas, watching the cliff divers, getting his old time picture taken, going to the puppet show and going through Black Bart's Cave. When they finally catch him one of the officers asks him if all of the trouble he had caused was worth it. Cartman's response? "Totally."

Plan B

Hoping to apply some pressure (and a whole lotta guilt) on our lawyer I called him up during one of my more emotional moments yesterday. I gave him an ultimatum complete with tears. I laid everything out for him in my emotionally constricted voice hoping that tugging at his heart strings may be an effective motivational tool.

I hoped above all hopes that I would receive a call from him first thing this morning. When I didn't, I called him again leaving a message this time taking the "we are on a team how should we tackle this?" approach instead of a tearfilled one. I will continue to bother him every few hours through the end of tomorrow. If I have not heard from him by then I will fill the forms out and submit them on my own.

Thank you for all of the comments of support in my previous post!! And if you don't mind, please keep all of the prayers and positive thoughts coming as I am afraid it is going to take a miracle to pull this off :)

Frustrated, exhausted, jealous, upset, you name it, I'm feeling it...

A couple of weeks ago we hit "The Zone" in our adoption process. We FINALLY got a hold of the right people in the County we live in to answer our questions on home studies, FBI fingerprint background checks and all other items remaining to be addressed in our adoption process. Our lawyer was available on the phone, responding in a timely manner and actually following through with what he said he would do. We received the wonderful news that we wouldn't have to complete a home study unless requested by the judge saving us lots of money and time. We sent off our fingerprints to the FBI and sent in our pertinent information to the Colorado Department of Human Services for another background check. To top it all off our lawyer indicated that he could submit our petition THAT WEEK because the results of the remaining background checks could be submitted separately. I was cautious yet ecstatic over the prospect of finally being able to get things moving.

Unfortunately, the following week "The Zone" kicked us back into that no mans land of adoption purgatory. Our lawyer never sent me the confirmation email indicating that he had filed the petition and he has not returned my phone calls in almost 2 weeks. Then, when I called to check on the status of our CDHS background checks I was told it would probably be 4 weeks before they would be completed. This after being told by our lawyer that the process should take a week at most.

Our guardianship expires on River's birthday and that only leaves us 4 business days to get the petition submitted. We have felt the pressure heavily this week. Our emotions are raw from the waiting and not knowing. Just this week our friend's finalized the adoption of their son who was born in February. Today they were able to have him blessed in church. We've been waiting for the day that we could officially call River our own since February 2, 2008 the day Angie asked us to adopt him. It seems now like we've been stuck in this no man's land forever waiting with our faces pressed up against the glass separating us from that wonderful land of green grass, bunnies, puppy dogs, and finalized adoptions.

As my friend Lori and I often say when exhibiting frustration in writing, "a;lskdjfalskdjflaskdjf laskdalksdjf alskdjf laskdjf asldkjfalskdjfalskdjf!"

Parenting Humble Pie

I once read in one of those funny emails you send to fellow parents about the joy, exasperation and never ending slew of surprises of parenthood that you should get all of the judgement of other people's parenting skills out of your system before you have kids because once you have them you will inevitably fall into the same trap as those you judge. This hit me because I know I have been guilty of this from time to time. Case in point: I always looked down on parents who would carry their children around without shoes in public. I considered it a sure sign of neglectful parenting verging on trashiness. I will NEVER do this I had convinced myself.

Then along came my beautiful, happy, all around PERFECT son, River. And of course from day one it was obvious that the kid had ginormous feet! And by big I don't mean really long, but wide and thick. You know those cute little tiny shoes you can buy for newborns? The ones that are so tiny you can't help but say "Awww" when you look at them? Yeah, those may have fit his feet a month or two prior to his birth while he was still in utero but "out utero" there was no way. Over the winter we relied heavily on socks (generally for ages at least 6 months older than he was) and slippers. But once spring and summer hit is was too hot for either of those and if we even dared try they would promptly be removed somehow by the wearer. We tried sandals because they had more give to accommodate the width of River's feet while providing more air for those little pups to breathe. But again, it was next to impossible to keep them on. He loved to chew on them and they fell off easily even when not provoked. We've tried cute shoes that seem to have flexibility but alas the size we have to buy to accommodate the width and breadth of his foot ends up almost twice the length of his foot making it look like he has clown shoes on. And so, with my head hung in shame I gave up on any form of footwear and let my child go barefoot. At home, at his nanny's and yes, even in public. I learned that day that sometimes, when the weather is appropriate, there are valid reasons why babies must go barefoot even in public. And when they do it is not a sign of neglectful parenting but a sign that, like me, their parents have resigned themselves to the reality that shoes are not always practical.

On occasions when I see "shoed" babies River's age or younger I get that pang of regret that I cannot do the same for my son. But mostly I have grown so accustomed to my nude footed son that I think it is really cute and give fellow parents of barefooted babies an extra big smile because perhaps they are feeling as self concious as I...

Palabras

Lately there has been a source of contention in my home, though it pains me to admit it. My wonderful husband and I are equally yoked when it comes to the virtue of strength (i.e. stubbornness) and so we have yet to resolve it. So, my blogging friends and family I would like to take our issue before you as a jury of our peers to see who's side you are on. To prevent any biases I will not disclose which of us is supporting which point of view. Please read through the following case and then vote for the side you are on in the poll to the right of this post.

Issue: Can River's use of the word light (or "ite" as he says it) be considered his first word?

Argument For: River LOVES to talk. Right now it is mostly baby talk with no rhyme or reason. However, in typical baby development he has started to mimic words and intonations in his regular gibberish and has started to use words though not for their intended meaning. For examples of his recent lingual developments see Exhibit A, B and C:

Exhibit A - For a while now River has said what sounds like, "Hi" when he first sees someone, when someone leaves the room and then returns shortly, and sometimes even randomly. It sounds more like the "h" sound followed by a high pitch mini scream but it was when he would use it that caused many to wonder if he was really using it as a salutation.

Exhibit B - Since he was around 8-9 months he has used the word "Mama" as an indicator that he wants to be picked up, wants you to hurry up fixing his bottle and/or food, is upset and is in need of reassurance, etc.

Exhibit C - Debbie, River's nanny told us that the other day when she walked by her refrigerator and a picture of her kids while holding River he said (filtered through baby speak), "Hi, kids!" Debbie said she usually says this when they walk by her refrigerator but on this particular day he decided to beat her to the punch and mimic the words she usually says.

Since he was a baby, River has LOVED lights. He reaches for them and stares at them often. Recently he has started saying, "ite" when pointing and staring at the light. He will also look and point at the nearest light when anyone says the word. His use and recognition of this word have been observed by myself, Cory and his nanny Debbie.

Therefore it is the argument of the party in favor of declaring this his first word that his use of the word and recognition of the word when used by others dictates that it go down in his records as his first word.

Argument Against: River LOVES to talk. On that there is no disagreement. Nor is there any disagreement on the fact that he has used words like "Mama" as indicator words or the fact that he does indeed recognize the word light when used by those around him and ocassionally uses the word himself. To call it his first word, however, is a bit premature. For evidence supporting this theory please see Exhibit D:

Exhibit D - River does not use the word light consistantly when pointing and looking at the light. Sometimes he will say, "A-da" or "Eeii" when pointing at the light. Also, he will not always repeat the word when asked to.

Therefore, it is the argument of the party against declaring this as his first word that his inconsistant use of the word, regardless of the fact that he recognizes it when spoken by others dictates that it is premature to call this his first word. Most likely it will be his first word but we need to wait until he uses it more regularly to dictate it so.

Thank you in advance for helping us to solve our issue!

River v. Roosevelt National Forest

This weekend we went on our very first camping trip as a family of 5. No, we have not recently adopted 2 more children that we have yet to announce. Really when you are camping you must include in the total number the four legged attendees because they are just as active participants as us bipeds. So, with Nico and Lukin we were a party of 5.

We set out for Roosevelt National Forest Saturday afternoon though we had originally planned to leave Friday. Our usual favorite sites were all taken (one of which by a rowdy bunch I will mention later) so we found ourselves a new spot that was nice and secluded and most importantly (as it was a VERY hot day) shaded. We hiked, crawled around the campsite, listened to music, shot Cory's new 9 mm pistol, and all around had a grand time. Roosevelt National Forest is absolutely gorgeous and you can always find a nice secluded campsite without having to hike several miles to get there. All good and completely FREE! The best kind :)

River absolutely loved his first camping experience. He had a ball crawling around the site getting as dirty as possible. I tried to take several pictures to illustrate just how dirty he was (the dirtiest he's ever been in his life) but none of the pictures did it justice. The only challenges he had with the experience were taking an afternoon nap (which never happened) and falling asleep while the rowdy bunch in our favorite campsite got wasted, hooted and hollered and then to really showcase their intelligence - started firing off a gun. At that point we almost packed up and left for fear for our safety but luckily the rowdy group settled down and so did River. He slept in his pack'n'play and though I was fully prepared to be up several times with him getting him bundled back into his sleeping bag and blankets during the night he slept like the proverbial baby that he is and didn't wake up until we did... which was still way too early anyway for a weekend. 6 AM. But he woke up as cheerful as ever and it was difficult not to feel the same way around him.

And now for the best part of any of my posts. Lots of pictures of River:

Crawling around the campsite.

The men of the site.

Family picture on a hike. Warning, do not stare directly at my legs as they are so incredibly pale that doing so may cause temporary or permanent blindness. I guess that is what I get spending too much time indoors this summer...

The Fire.

River in the process of eating an entire tofu dog! What is that sound? Oh yes, it is the sound of me celebrating the fact that my son is showing hippie tendencies :)

The morning after.

Playing with the doggies (Nico - left, Lukin - right). Have I mentioned before how incredibly patient these dogs are with River? They take ear pulling like champions :)

Lessons in style

Have thin flat hair that doesn't respond to the usual mousses, gels, and hairspray? Or just on the go and don't have access to hair products but need a little volume? River says, "Smashed up Twinkies can be the solution to any hair woe."

Just follow these three easy steps:

1. Take 1/3 of a Twinkie and eat a small portion of it.
2. With the remaining portion get good and messy making sure to really smash it in your hands.
   
3. Fluff your hair while still covered in the Twinkie.

And the results speak for themselves...


Use strawberry cream filled Twinkies for a fun twist.

Almost, but not quite.

Today River is 11 months old. Oh, so close (too close for this mommy) to his first birthday. In honor of this momentous occasion I will refrain from my usual sappy mommy sermons. Instead here are 11 of my favorite pictures over the same number of months:

Happy Eleventeenth Month Brithday, River!

Had to share!

Last night I had a dream Cory and I were on a reality TV show for couples struggling with infertility. I'm not sure what the premise of the show was. Perhaps they were going to give us free reign of all fertility treatments available and whoever got pregnant first won $1,000,000. Or perhaps we were going to have to compete against the other couples in feats of skill to win the opportunity to receive various infertility testing, treatment, and procedures like hormone level blood tests, SA's, Clomid, treatments for PCOS and/or Endometriosis, laparoscopy, IUI, IVF, etc. Here are a few of the entertaining jewels of the dream that I remember:

• Paula Abdul was the host. Perhaps my dream reality TV show offered her the $10 million a year salary that American Idol wouldn't!
• In typical reality TV show style all competing couples lived together in one large mansion.
• Tensions were already starting to mount though the competition hadn't fully begun. There was one other couple that I knew in the competition. I currently work with the husband and went to school with the wife. The wife is a very nice, non-judgmental person in real life but in my dream she was already trash talking the other contestants which randomly also included that girl Daisy that first appeared on "Rock of Love" and then on "Charm School" (I could be wrong about Charm School, but I don't watch either show, just spend some time goofing off on TMZ.com during the day and seem to recall that perhaps she got in a fight with Sharon Osborne on the show?).
• We each had our own "fertility cave" which was underground and accessed by standing on a scale that only descended if it matched your exact weight. Don't know what a James Bond Villan-esque cave had to do with fertility, or what would happen if you put on any weight, but it was in each couple's fertility cave that the couple received their fertility testing, treatments and procedures. Maybe I've just seen too many movies or read too many books about secret underground lairs containing cutting edge technology. Each couple was also responsible for keeping their fertility cave clean!
  

So there you have it! My extremely weird dream about a reality TV show for infertile couples. Perhaps I should contact the major networks with this idea... I know I'd watch it! The sad thing is we haven't even started trying to get pregnant yet and already my mind is tormenting me with silly dreams about the journey ahead! At least I got a good laugh out of this dream and hopefully you did, too. It was just such a funny random dream that I had to share :)

Have you seen that episode of Seinfeld...

when Elaine is "black-balled" by some secret medical society when she confronts her doctor about the fact that he wrote on her medical file that she is a difficult patient? You know, the one where in the end she has to draw eyebrows back on Jerry's Uncle Leo's face with a Sharpe while at some doctor's office out in the country and and it gives him a mean look? And then the doctor writes down on Leo's medical file that he is being difficult? Well, I'm feeling a bit like Elaine lately.

When I first started investigating the who/what/where/why and how of a home study I contacted two agencies. One local agency and our Church's agency. The local agency never responded, our Church agency said they couldn't help but gave me the number to an agency that mostly did just home studies. I contacted that agency and was a little troubled when they seemed to think we would have to go the whole 9 yards and do a home study, training, etc. So I went back to the county we lived in and tried to find out exactly what we needed. Since doing that I have made countless calls to local lawyers, not to mention our own lawyer, local agencies, and about every office in the county with the word "Clerk" in the title. Some were helpful, others weren't. But two things have been consistent; getting sent to voicemail only to never receive a return phone call or being told, "No I'm not the one that deals with that, you need to talk to 'This Person'."

I'm sure it is just a bunch of bureaucratic red tape that is making this difficult but even agencies and our own lawyer are slow (if ever) to respond to me. I feel like I have been "black balled" by those in the legal and agency side of adoption for some unknown reason. Perhaps because someone wrote on my adoptive parent file that I was a difficult patient? Maybe I will get a mysterious phone call in the middle of the night to confirm I am in fact Jill Preston and the spelling of my last name to confirm my own suspicions in this regard... I'll let you know if I do!

Excited to Announce...

... that Angie will be posting on my blog now! I am so excited for her to be able to share her experience as a birthmother with everyone, adoptive and non-adoptive mommies alike. Prepare to be edified!

Serveral shorts that make this one long

As August, the last full month of summer begins, here are a few shorts from the month of July:

Lions, and Tigers, and Balloons, OH MY!
Just when I thought "going the extra mile" for customers was a dead art in any chain store (I dare do no more than mention the name of Home Depot lest I fly off the handle!) I was in the checkout line at King Soopers (which is what the Kroger Brand Grocery chain is called here in Colorado) when a clerk came up to me with a balloon for River. I was ecstatic because I remember getting balloons at King Soopers when I was a little kid! River was very curious about the balloon and tried to grab it, bite it and smack it around. At that point it had turned into a great day.

With a spring in my step I unloaded the groceries and loaded River into his car seat. I tied the balloon around the handle of the seat and proceeded to load myself into the car when all of the sudden River let out a piercing scream like he had been hurt. I flung open the door only to find him with the most frightened look on his face that I have ever seen. The cause of the terror? Why none other than the balloon floating lazily on the ceiling of the car a couple of feet away from him. I tried to talk him out of his fear and let him touch the balloon but that only extracted another round of screaming, this time seeming to come from the depths of his soul. Apparently, he is okay with the balloon so long as it only invades his personal space on his terms. I tucked the balloon behind his seat until we got home. At home he was back to playing with it an enjoying it until finally it went the way of all balloons and deflated to its original state of limp plastic.


Facelift
It all started when Cory bought a faucet for house he was plumbing. The homeowners wanted a different faucet but returning the first faucet means paying a restocking fee which is pretty hefty considering the cost of the faucet. So, Cory decided to put it into our kitchen. Problem was it didn't really match our sink, or the hardware on our cabinets. So those must be replaced to make the faucet match, right? And if we are getting rid of those we must also get rid of the counter tops and tile because they match the sink and hardware to be replaced, right? And while we are at it why not ditch the crappy carpet from Home Depot that is only 1.5 years old (pause to recollect myself) and the ugly old linoleum with hardwood floors? We know someone in the business! So, a little over a week ago we began the task of redoing our kitchen to match the faucet. Here are the before pictures:


And here are the pictures showing where we are now:


Cory's parents are in town this weekend and his dad has been invaluable in helping us getting in the new counter tops! So much thanks to John/Dad/Papa Bear :) It is spectacular having no kitchen sink, and having our refrigerator in the living room makes me feel real classy! In the end though I know it will be worth it as our kitchen previously transported me back to the late 80's early 90's every time I entered it with its spectacular flowered, mauve and blue wallpaper and faux gold handles on all of the cabinets and drawers. A million thanks to my husband for all his hard work updating our kitchen!

Summer Classics

After reading a conversation between old high school friends on facebook regarding rereading "The Classics" I decided to do the same. I didn't have any particular book I wanted to read so why not go through all of the books I still have from my advanced placement english classes in high school? My first read was "Wuthering Heights" and I will admit that it was none other than your favorite teeny bopper book and mine that inspired me to start here: Twilight. Regardless, it was spectacular! Wuthering Heights had some of the most deplorable characters pre-Professor Umbridge but the love and hate between said characters is infectuous, dramatic, and honest. I highly recommend it. I am now reading "The Great Gatsby" after which I will read Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood." After that I was thinking of reading some Hemingway and then maybe some Steinbeck and Salinger. Any other suggestions of great classics?

The Best for Last
A conversation on Friday with the County Clerk's office revealed the fact that in our county Home Study's are not required! When the judge reviews our petition he/she may order a home study to be completed so we may not be completely off the hook but we don't have to have one before we file our petition to adopt. Needless to say I have been on Cloud 9 all weekend. Unfortunately our lawyer was unsure whether or not he had received the results of our fingerprint background checks (even though we were fingerprinted back in March) which probably means he never submitted our information to get the background check through CO's Child Protective Services either. So we will still have to wait to resolve these outstanding issues but we have one less obstacle and $1600 less standing in our way of finalizing River's adoption. If you are the praying type, please include us in your prayers that the last unresolved issues will be resolved quickly so we can submit our petition before River's first birthday. And if you aren't the praying type, positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated as well!

Are you the Marketing gal?

Disclaimer: The following post is for entertainment purposes (for you the reader) and therapeutic purposes (for me the writer) ONLY! It is not meant to be disrespectful to any woman and the career they choose. Believe me, if I had my druthers I'd ditch my current career for the best career in the world and be a stay at home mom. If choice of career is a sensitive subject for you, please read no further.

Today I had one of "those" experiences that I am sure any woman in a male dominated profession can relate to. Our Human Resources/Office Administrator is on vacation this week so we have a temp taking her place while she is away. This morning, when I arrived at the office, I went straight into the kitchen to put my lunch in the refrigerator. The temp was in the kitchen watering the plants and so I said, "Good morning!" to her. Perhaps not remembering me from Friday when she was taken around the office and introduced to everyone she asked me, "Are you the Marketing gal?" Seems a harmless comment, right? Nothing to be offended by, even? I know the temp meant no harm by this comment but after being mistaken for an administrator a dozen times or so it starts to get annoying!

Why does it get annoying? I have a Bachelors of Science degree in Civil Engineering, and a Professional Engineering license. I have worked very hard to get to where I am today and I have put up with quite enough to be going on about from the men I have encountered along the way. From the day I stepped foot in an advanced math class to this day as I write this rant! Apparently, there is no possible way that as a woman I could be an engineer. So people assume I am an administrator. I think I am nearing the half dozenth occasion on which I have walked past a meeting in the Main Conference Room to have an attendee step out with a thermos of coffee and ask me to refill it because they are running low. What?! I don't even know how to work a coffee maker!

For the most part, these assumptions come with the territory of working in a traditionally male profession and are really only the tip of the iceberg. I've had even worse assumed of me. But every once in a while, even these little things really chap my hide. I guess one of the following must be cut from my life if I am to make it in this profession:

a) my need for acceptance from my peers, or
b) my boobs, fashionable clothing, and cute hairstyle.

I should go with a) but I would be lying if I said that I didn't occasionally lean towards b) because isn't a) just straight up human nature anyway?

Okay, thank you for reading my rant. I feel much better now and have no longer have the desire to get rid of my boobs, fashionable clothing or cute hairstyle at this time :)

On My Mind, Part I: Transracial Adoption

Since Cory and I began our journey to become parents, dealt with infertility and pregnancy loss and eventually came to adoption certain topics have stuck in my mind and have continued to bounce around in there despite the fact that we are not currently pursuing adoption or conception at this time. One of the more common topics on my mind is transracial adoption. I was motivated to write this post after reading a post on one of my favorite Haitian adoption blogs. If this topic interests you as well I HIGHLY recommend reading the post. Here is what is bouncing around in my head on this topic:

At the beginning of our adoption journey while we were awaiting the birth of our son River, my sister lent me the book, "Angels of a Lower Flight" by Susie Krabacher. I may have mentioned this book before but it is the story as told by Susie herself of her life and how it led her to her mission to save the children of Haiti. Her efforts with the Mercy and Sharing Foundation inspired me to consider Haiti my first choice for international adoption. There is just SO much need down there! And at first, this is how simple I saw it... meeting the need on their end and the need on mine. Theirs for a loving, stable family and the opportunity to reach their full potential in a country with far more opportunities and mine the need to find my children. I was very aware that if we went that route that the child we would be adopting would be of a different race. As a religious person, I believe that, if everything worked out, it would be because God wanted that child to be a part of our family and that before we were people with different skin color here on this earth we were kindred spirits in heaven as close to each other as any family brought together biologically. That coupled with the love that I would give them as their mother I assumed that would be enough to break any racial barriers between us. Luckily I have the adoption discussion board I participate in! Many of the wonderful women that I have met there either have adopted transracially or are in the process of doing so. They led me to the wonderful book called "In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories." This book opened my eyes to the fact that there is so much more to raising children of different races than your own than just loving them fiercely and knowing that it is God's will.

Since then I have constantly been pondering and meditating on the topic of whether or not I would be a good parent to a child adopted from a different race and culture. I so desperately want to be! I have friends from many ethnicities, religious beliefs and sexual orientation. If I have a diverse friend base I can parent a diverse family right? Initially I thought so but the more I scrutinize myself, my friends, my family, etc. the following concerns come to my mind:

• Will I as a white mother be able to fully prepare my child(ren) for the racism they would face when they grow up?
  


• Is the community I live in diverse enough that my child(ren) would be able to find good role models and friends that could understand what it was like to be a minority and have the right advice to help them not only cope but excel in spite of it all?
  


• Will my child(ren) be able to fully appreciate their beauty if they grow up surrounded by white family and friends?
  


• Would my family and friends be able to accept my child(ren) and show them the same love and affection as River who despite being 1/4 Hispanic and 1/4 Italian has very white features?


• Will I be able to handle appropriately racist comments whether accidental or intentional, joking or serious are made in the presence of my child(ren)? Especially if such a comment is made by a close friend or family member?

• Am I capable of providing them a loving home where they feel just as much a part of the group as any but at the same time where they feel like their heritage and culture is respected, supported and present in their lives?
  

Perhaps I'm over thinking it. Perhaps I'm taking it as seriously as I should but either way it will continue to be on my mind until we are ready to adopt again :)

Would love to hear all of your thoughts if you have any on transracial adoption!

Double Digits.

I remember back in the day when I turned 10 years old it was SUCH a big deal because I was finally "double digits" old. River is too young to appreciate or even realize that he is finally "double digits" old yet (in months as opposed to years) but it is big for me because he is only two short months from being old enough to measure his age in years. Yikes! Has it really been that long since he was born? It sure doesn't feel like it. Unfortunately, I have reached that age when time seems to go at warp speed.

In honor of the 10 months that our family has been complete here are 10 predictions I have for what we can expect for him as he grows up:

• He will be one busy little boy. He is constantly on the go crawling from one side of the house to the other in what seems like a matter of seconds. I'm hoping it will mean lots of fun and the loss of some of the extra pounds I am carrying around. But I also know there will be many exhausting, trying days.


• He will be one of those little boys that despite my best efforts will constantly have holes in his pants, scrapes on his knees, and dirt on his face from constant rough housing and playing. The other night he was hanging out with me while I was weeding in our rose beds. He was crawling right through the rock landscaping even though those rocks can be sharp. He was picking up the rocks and throwing them all while making his favorite growling sound. 100% Baby Boy!

River and Nico (she is SO patient with him it is amazing!)

• He will be at least a year old before he starts walking. Right now he is completely uninterested in walking. He'll do it if you hold his hands but half way to wherever you are walking him to he loses interest and you have to pick him up or let his legs drag. He loves to stand up on things but doesn't take the next step and walk around using the support of whatever he is standing up on. With the exception of in the bathtub, the very LAST place I want him to be wobbly walking!


• He will be a very snuggly, cuddly boy. We just started playing a game recently where I make a big circle around him with my arms and then slowly tighten up the circle until I'm hugging him tightly and he laughs and laughs and laughs. Once I release him he gives me a big hug and kiss.
  


• He will be a good drummer. Every baby loves to drum in some form. It is an activity they can do with their arms and hands before they really refine their motor skills. Even my weekly BabyCenter recommend getting baby drumming early on for development. However, Cory and River and I spend lots of time working on making music. Cory will be on the full set of drums or guitar and River and I will play one of the smaller drums. As a result I have noticed a marked difference in the understanding and technique River has on the drums. It is enough to bring a tear to one proud mommy's eye!
  


• He will be an adorable little boy and a looker when he grows up. Now, I fully recognize that this opinion could be biased because I am his mom and I would think he was cute even if he had a horn growing out of his head. But both Angie and his bfather are beautiful people and he has so much of their good features that I know he will be the same!
  

River getting a hug and kiss from his cousin Tessa (only 3 weeks apart in age)

• He will have a good sense of humor. I often refer to Cory as my "child by marriage." I'm sure we all as women can relate to feeling, at times, that our husbands are more like children than grown men. However, despite whatever complaints I may have in this regard, Cory's childlike silliness and sense of humor are a good part of why I love him so much. Already he is sharing those characteristics with River who has already taken to them so much that I know once he is able to understand Cory's jokes he will follow suit.
  

River and Daddy enjoying River's first big pool experience

• I will get a taste of my own medicine and have to parent a child like myself that throws what my Mom referred to as "text book temper tantrums" or tempertantrums so bad you only read about them in books! Already the simple act of putting on clothes gets River fussy and don't even think about wiping a booger out of his nose or trimming his finger/toe nails unless you are prepared for him to cry so hard he stops breathing at times. As soon as the torture of regular hygiene is over, however, the tantrum immediately ceases and he is back to happy, bubbly, River.


• He will be a Mommy's Boy. This isn't that much of a prediction as it is already a fact. He loves Cory and I very much and when in the presence of strangers will go to either of us easily. However, when he has a choice between the two of us he shows his love for his mommy and I couldn't be happier about that. It eases the pain of a working mom who wishes her only job could be raising him full time.

River and Me at Great Grandma and Grandpa Craig's House

• He will not be the daredevil we initially thought he would be. When babies are little, little, bouncing is a great way to soothe fussiness, right? Well, River was no exception to that rule. It was the extent of the bouncing required that set him apart from the rest. He needed at least one foot from the top of the bounce to the bottom of the bounce to be soothed. As a result we joked and said he would be our little daredevil not afraid of heights. Yeah, so those days are over! He is now deathly afraid of heights. He loves to climb up the stairs but will only go up a couple before he gets "too high" and needs me to bring him back down. He is also afraid of swimming pools and even sitting in bath water by himself (only a few inches deep). I guess I won't have a daredevil son to go skydiving with me after all!
  

Happy double digits, River! We love you 1,000,000 pounds:)