Best laid plans...

I had every intention of blogging in depth about my experience at the FSA conference last month. I even have several posts in draft form on the first 2 classes and the first panel. However, as I wrote I began to doubt myself and my ability to translate my thoughts into words. And as I read back through them I felt that I was coming across very condescending and judgemental. This made me wonder if I might not be the worst kind of ignorant that Melissa from Yoon's Blur mentions in her post titled "When you think you understand, but you really don't..." (Great post, BTW!)

Now, I'm certainly not far gone enough to try to tell anyone on the other two sides of the adoption triad how they should or shouldn't feel but I find that I am often super critical of other adoptive parents when I feel they make ingorant statements. How quickly I forget that I too have made and will continue to make ignorant statements along my life's journey. And not just in adoption.

So I've decided to instead just hang out with my thoughts on the conference. Together we have been gardening, writing copious notes and making good progress on the Adoption Reading Challenge. Another item on my blogging to do list! But I do want to thank everyone who participated in the conference as you have all given me months, perhaps even years, of food for thought :)

What I'm Celebrating Today...

Happy Mother's Day to all of the women out there! In honor of this day I would like to share with you a bit of wisdom I recently came across:

"Moms. They're better than Dads."

I can't remember if it is a Chinese Proverb or if I just read it on a t-shirt in Walmart, though... :)

Thankful Thursday: Healing Baby Steps

This week I am thankful for the baby steps I have taken in healing emotionally from my issues with fertility. Previously I would have said that I was still the bitter, jealous, angry, fearful, unworthy woman that I was in June 2007 when I found out I was miscarrying. I still have unresolved issues, misguided anger and resentment and I am still as rediculously passive agressive as ever. Recently, though, a good friend told me she was pregnant and though I immediately burst into tears when she did, I was able to recover pretty quickly.

In the past it has taken me at least an hour of sobbing, an entire package of cookies, and a minimum of 6 episodes of "Jersey Shore" to numb myself after a pregnancy announcement. Literally! I never watched an episode of "Jersey Shore" and even mocked it until the pregnancy announcements came rolling in. I found it was the best alternative to hitting myself in the head with a brick or getting college-drink-til-you-puke drunk.

This progress may be only baby steps but I couldn't be more greatful for it. It is neat when you find healing has taken place when you least expect it. It is like finding $20 in the pocket of a coat you haven't worn since last season. Fingers crossed it will be the impetus for more baby steps and hopefully eventually major strides in healing.