Irritating the never dull small things...

The end of 2010 was quite a test for me. (Note: though I often write about adoption and infertility neither of these was the source of stress for me this time around) Often burnt out on what was going on in my life I spent more time than usual reading blogs. For the most part the reading was a source of great comfort. However, two particular blogs kept on irritating me the way a Julia Roberts romantic comedy irritates me. Oh wait, did I say they irritate me? Sorry, I meant to say her movies are the bane of my existence!!!! (said with a booming voice) Society's existence, even, IMHO :) But I'm a huge fan of reality and reality her movies are NOT!

So when things kept coming up rosy at "Enjoying the Small Things" and "Never A Dull Moment" I wanted to call their bluff with a couple of well placed curse words. Reality is not always that pretty. Not everyone is affluent enough to afford expensive homes, extravagant and frequent vacations, extensive wardrobes for children or a fancy camera to capture all of these great moments. I resented them for not acknowledging that and for almost advertising them as the only way to happiness. Yet, for some odd reason, call it intuition or perhaps insanity, I continued to read them.

And read them.

And read them.

And for some odd reason they began to remind me of a picture I have that is currently stashed away in some random box; location unknown. It is a picture of me and my group of friends taken some time in the the spring semester of my freshman year of high school. Since I don't know where the picture is and can't post it, here is the next best thing:

I have many similar pictures of my groups of friends over the years but this picture will always stand out to me because my best friend/boyfriend David (also in the picture) once remarked that it was the type of picture one might look back on with that sweet feeling of nostalgia for a time long since passed. I resented that assessment. I was convinced we were destined to make it through college and beyond like the pals on Saved by the Bell and take many more similar pictures together. However, only a short year and lifetime of experience later we had all gone our separate ways. Under bad circumstances.

Now when I look at the picture, though, do I think about how badly David broke my heart? Do I think about the fact that my friend Nicole and I were no longer speaking when the picture was taken because earlier in the year we fought over another guy in the group, named Glen, who we both had a mad crush on? Do I think about all of the mean things we eventually said about each other because we were hurt and too young to process the adult emotions we shared? No. I focus on the good times. The fun memories. The love that I have for them, the desire I have for the best for them in all their lives, and the gratitude I have for them for sharing those times in their life with me. The bad times I used to help shape myself into the (hopefully) better person that I am today. The good things I keep in my mental box of memories to pull out and enjoy.

That is when I realized... isn't that most likely what both of those blogs are doing now? Certainly their lives are not perfect. I'm sure there are huge messes and big fights just out of frame of the portion of their lives they choose to share with their readers. But they just may be on to something with this whole "focusing on the positive things and the positive things alone" thing.

Damn.

I guess that means I'll have to eat my four letter words.

Perhaps their positivity is especially a good example for me in this time of difficult trials when the negative threatens to completely blot out the positive. So, starting on New Year's Eve I gave myself the challenge to solve (parental) melt downs with trips to the park, find beauty in even the most mundane moments, and try to capture it all on film so I can look back on these tough times with sweet nostalgia, too. Each week I will be posting the photos I capture as part of my personal challenge interlaced with positive affirmation cliches and fun cheesy quotes.

Don't worry, though! I still hate Julia Roberts romo/comedies and I will still write about reality and how sometimes it sucks because really there is beauty in that as well.

If you are interested in reading these blogs as well check out their links on the right side of my blog. NADM is under my blog list and ETST is under "Funny, Family, Friends." I'm not going to link them here because I don't want to draw attention to my rant. I do love them and as you know this post does have a realistic happy ending.