Star Struck

Last week as I browsed through the updates on all of the blogs I follow I noticed that Kelsey had posted about a Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) Conference in Colorado next month. My initial thought was, "Eh, I better go to those one of these days" and considered this one because it is being held in my state. Then I saw that Kelsey was the key note speaker and I realized that the fires of hell couldn't keep me from this conference! I love Kelsey's blog and would love to get to hear her speak in person. I love her outlook on life and how she takes on loss and challenges. Though we are on different sides of the adoption triangle I learn so much from her example.

So why as an LDS adoptive parent am I indifferent as apposed to anxiously awaiting an FSA Conference in my area? Because I know that those in the adoption triad have a love/hate relationship with LDS Family Services (LDSFS) who hosts the FSA Conferences. And because I understand why many feel this way.

One of the reasons (at least IMHO) that adoption in its current state is unethical is that many adoption professionals, PAP's and AP's fall into the trap of judging the worthiness of expectant parents to parent their child. With my church's focus on eternal, two parent families we are often more suceptible to this judgement. Unfortunately this gets us nowhere positive and in worst case can lead to expectant parents being coersed into choosing adoption. Now, I don't mean to condemn my church, LDSFS, adoption professionals, PAP's or AP's in general. I know many great people who have adopted and placed through LDSFS and know that many do not fall into the judgement trap and even if they do they are not alone. It is a trap we ALL as humans fall into whether the judgement be adoption related or not. I noticed the first time I owned a nice car I found myself "looking down" on those who were driving old beaters similar to what I had been driving just months before. Regardless of their universality, though, judgement and coersion are a large adoption problem internationally and domestically and a big reason why adoption can suck.

That said, I have read positive reviews of FSA Conferences from several bloggers (all firstmoms). So, for that reason, because I thought it a great excuse to invite Angie down to visit us, and because Kelsey is the key note speaker we are going to attend this FSA Conference come hell or high water! If anyone else is planning on attending (hint, hint, Tiffany, hint, hint :) let me know because I would love to meet up with you. For info and registration for the conference click here.