Birthday Letter

Dear River,

This day two years ago at 5:40 pm you made your entrance into this world. You weighed 7 lbs 3 oz and measured 20 inches in length. Though I didn't give birth to you I was able to help the midwife deliver you and it was an experience I will never forget. The first two thoughts I had when I took you in my arms were:

"River is the perfect name for you. You look like a River!"

and

"You have Angie's feet."

She has a cute little curl to her pinky toe and you have the exact same curl. Though I've known Angie for a long time this is a little nuance that I came to know and love from our many late nights chatting together on the couch and watching you in your constant movement in her tummy. You were crazy and ALWAYS had the hiccups. This continued well into the first few months of your life.

I'm sure we were the talk of the birth center that day. We certainly were a crazy group with a crazy story. But we were all there for you and that made us all a force to be reckoned with. I wish that you could remember it so you could carry that love and unity with you through all your navigation of life's challenges. So it could comfort you as you come to know that you are adopted and figure out what that means for you.

I'm not going to lie. There was great loss and sadness that day and it was also felt by all. Unfortunately, it will always be felt by all. But we are all still here for you and we are continuing to forge a path that we hope and pray will be right for you. Don't feel bad if you get upset with us along the way. It is okay. Just let us know. We want to know what we can do better. Your life may have more details, stories and people than those of your friends but don't worry. Every decision that was made from the moment of your conception was a decision made of love for you.

This morning dawned perfectly. We all cuddled up with cartoons and cups of Carnation Instant Breakfast (because you are in a very picky eating phase right now). As we lay watching cartoons I realized that I was holding you the exact same way I held you almost all of your first night on this earth. Your head lay in the crook of my shoulder. It was uncomfortable for me (no way to really lay my head) but comfortable for you. Don't worry, I don't mind. I love it that way because boy I'd do anything for you! (Okay, so I'll never be that parent that buys you alcohol when you are underage so all your friends can come over and party... sorry. I know, I'm horrible :) And I told you just that, that night as I rambled on and on into the wee hours of the morning. Kind of like I am doing in this letter!

In conclusion, in honor of your 2nd Birthday here are the two things I hope you come to know unconditionally...

1st that God loves you.

2nd that you have four parents that love you unconditionally and will always be there for you.

I love you, sweet darling. I love you more than anything...

~ Mom