Tuesday, March 27, 2012

First Observation of Race

This weekend, River made his first observation of race.  It was neat to get the conversation going about diversity but daunting at the same time.  The process of investigating transracial adoption made me realized just how seriously a problem racism is even now in what we would like to believe is a more enlightened society.  It is difficult for those of us in the majority to see it.  It is subtle, and systemic now but still an issue that needs to be addressed.  As a result I resolved to be a more purposeful parent in raising my children to appreciate diversity, not fear it.  However, when the topic finally came up, despite my resolve, I still felt like an unprepared, uninformed, white mama.  

The story goes like this: 

As we were leaving the grocery store we encountered a young girl probably in her tweens, waiting for her family out front with the family dog.  This girl was also most likely of of hispanic/latino heritage. Being the animal lover that River is he whispered to me, "Can I pet the dog?"  I told him we should ask the girl first because she was the dog's owner.  In his typical shy demeanor he whispered his request for permission.  Luckily, she didn't have to hear him to know what he was asking and told him he was welcome to pet the dog.  While petting the dog we made small talk about the gender and name of the dog and then went on our merry way. 

As we drove away River asked me, "Is that a red lady?"  River doesn't know colors like brown, black, white, or gray very well so the closest he could come up with to describe the color of the girl's skin was red.  I asked him if he noticed that the girl had a beautiful rich color to her skin that was darker than ours.  This question was over his head so I proceeded to do my best to stammer explain in terms I thought he could understand that everyone has different features depending on their heritage and that is what makes each individual and each different heritage so special.

So, my question for you readers is how have you discussed the issue of race with your children?  Are there good resources you would recommend?  Children's books you would recommend?  I would recommend to everyone the blog Love Isn't Enough - on raising a family in a colorstruck world but anxious to hear what you all have to say as well! 

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and recommendations :)

2 comments:

Faith said...

Oh how I wish I had any answers for you. I will stammer through it myself when the day comes. And it doesn't help that my husband is a little more prejudice than I'd like to admit. His work pushes him in that direction unfortunately. I hope you get some great ideas from others, though!

riversnake said...

Faith, we are in the same boat with spouses that are more prejudicial than we'd like! My husband grew up in a town that used to be literally the least diverse town in the nation! So he never had anyone to tell him that his jokes are racist and not just a funny thing to say because race doesn't affect him. We'll have to commiserate as we try to figure out how to handle that!!

~ Jill