Who Wears Short Shorts?

Over the past two weeks I've had the opportunity to share childcare duties with Cory while our nanny is on vacation.  The opportunity to forego work and stay home with River during the day has been something I had been excitedly anticipating.  I've been craving lazy open days begging to be filled with a long list of fun activities I put together during the wait. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy as I had hoped... first Cory didn't work for almost a week leaving me able to work those days.  Then when I finally did get my time off with River, I had clients calling me daily, quick deadlines and stress over how to portion my time such that I could get work in without losing the chance for fun. 

Such is my existential crisis as a working mom.  Especially when I am a Type A personality.  I want to succeed at both but have to seriously redefine what that success is otherwise I will drive myself crazy with the guilt of failure.  I won't ever be the high ranking corporate female engineer.  I don't want to devote nor do I really have the time necessary to get there.  My house will never be picturesque with neat clean lines and colors of organization.  I don't have the time and energy to devote to that.  Sometimes we will have to rely on our nanny to help us to take care of River.  I hope it will be a benefit to him to have the additional influence of her peaceful, humble, giving nature.    

I could go on and on about my existential crisis but I will save that for another post.  Instead I will share some ridiculously cute pictures of River "playing soccer ball" as he called it.  We attended a 3 and 4 year old soccer camp one evening this week and while it was complete chaos, to my chaotic 3 1/2 year old it was pure excitement.

He looks like such a natural!

I loved how 70's footballer he looked in these short shorts :)

Kudos to all of the volunteers that made this possible.  They did an amazing job...

...as evidenced in River's cheesy, Chiclet toothed grin!

Despite having to juggle work we still managed to squeeze the most out of our days together.  It is so rewarding when at the end of each day you fall into bed exhausted with the sore back and muscles that only come from a day of running hard, playing bears, and doing whatever it takes to give your child perma-cheesy-Chiclet-tooth-grin.

I still have one post left in my Passing the Buck Series then I will be devoting some time to restructuring my blog.  I'm excited about the changes and want to thank everyone who has come to check out my blog since I joined A Real Adoption Blog Hop over at Adoption Magazine.  A truly inclusive list of great adoption blogs from all sides of the adoption triad no matter what the writer's opinion of adoption is.  Just as it should be!  I encourage everyone to check the list out.  Many of the blogs I already follow but now I've got so many new ones to check out.  Insert picture of my cheesy, Chiclet toothed grin here.  

I hate the Easter Bunny... oh, and Santa Claus, too. *UPDATED*

I wish it didn't have to be that way but it seems the past Christmas and Easter have me at odds with their secular mascots.  I wish I was one of those parents that got all teary eyed and excited about the opportunity to build memories for their children around the holidays.  Instead I wonder why I can't just build memories for my son every day and bristle at having to lie to my son about the existence of a large bunny rabbit and a fat man in a suit that just looks sweaty and uncomfortable.  Both of which break into your house at night, but that is okay and all because they leave gifts instead of taking them... like say a burglar... that would then need to be prosecuted and jailed for his actions.

Regardless, I sucked it up and did my best to create fond memories and decided to throw in a little creativity to make the whole experience more palatable.  Here are the obligatory pictures as proof:

Saturday Easter Egg Hunt at Church

River and his cousin T who seriously has a heart of gold and helped make sure River found plenty of eggs.

 I'm trying to get more creative with my picture taking...  Here is an example of my attempt at taking artistic egg hunt pictures.

This is what it looks like when a professional takes the picture!

Easter Sunday Gifts and Play

One of my biggest beefs about Easter gifts is that they are usually hokey or sugar fueled.  So I opted to purchase this rope bin, fill it with water, and a few water toys and let River enjoy the sensory/imaginative play.  He loved it and we will continue to use this bin with water, bird seed, rice and other fun materials to expand our range of play this summer.

We ended the weekend with a game night, a delicious bunny cake and one last egg hunt in the dark with my sister-in-law and her family. The egg hunt in the dark was a hit especially for my SIL's oldest daughter who is 12 and starting to feel "too cool" for childish holiday antics.  I didn't get any pictures of the actual hunt because I don't have a camera with a flash but we placed glow sticks or glow bracelets around most of the eggs and then used flashlights to find the rest.  It is certainly a tradition we will be repeating.  Lots of fun.

My SIL's Rabbit Cake.  De-effing-licious!

Just wanted to clarify the three main reasons why I don't like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus... First they detract from the true meaning of both holidays and I am one of those parents that wants my kid(s) to appreciate the TRUE meaning and significance of the holidays.  The significance is way cooler than some bunny and a fat man.  Second, I feel it can put unfair stress on parents to perform to a certain level.  I am Type A personality and thus I want everything I do to be perfect.  Unfortunately, I lack the creativity and time to really go all out and that feels like a failure to me.  Third, one of my biggest goals as a parent is to raise my kid(s) to appreciate living simply and desire to share our excess resources with those less fortunate than us.  I don't want to teach them (through excessive holiday gift giving) that they are entitled to gifts every time Hallmark wants to make a few billion extra bucks.

Call me overly sensitive.  It won't be the first time!

First Observation of Race

This weekend, River made his first observation of race.  It was neat to get the conversation going about diversity but daunting at the same time.  The process of investigating transracial adoption made me realized just how seriously a problem racism is even now in what we would like to believe is a more enlightened society.  It is difficult for those of us in the majority to see it.  It is subtle, and systemic now but still an issue that needs to be addressed.  As a result I resolved to be a more purposeful parent in raising my children to appreciate diversity, not fear it.  However, when the topic finally came up, despite my resolve, I still felt like an unprepared, uninformed, white mama.  

The story goes like this: 

As we were leaving the grocery store we encountered a young girl probably in her tweens, waiting for her family out front with the family dog.  This girl was also most likely of of hispanic/latino heritage. Being the animal lover that River is he whispered to me, "Can I pet the dog?"  I told him we should ask the girl first because she was the dog's owner.  In his typical shy demeanor he whispered his request for permission.  Luckily, she didn't have to hear him to know what he was asking and told him he was welcome to pet the dog.  While petting the dog we made small talk about the gender and name of the dog and then went on our merry way. 

As we drove away River asked me, "Is that a red lady?"  River doesn't know colors like brown, black, white, or gray very well so the closest he could come up with to describe the color of the girl's skin was red.  I asked him if he noticed that the girl had a beautiful rich color to her skin that was darker than ours.  This question was over his head so I proceeded to do my best to stammer explain in terms I thought he could understand that everyone has different features depending on their heritage and that is what makes each individual and each different heritage so special.

So, my question for you readers is how have you discussed the issue of race with your children?  Are there good resources you would recommend?  Children's books you would recommend?  I would recommend to everyone the blog Love Isn't Enough - on raising a family in a colorstruck world but anxious to hear what you all have to say as well! 

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and recommendations :)

Diggin' Up Bones - A success story in pictures...

Saturday morning I woke up early to work on taxes and to bury little dollar store dinosaurs and bugs in the fresh patch of earth in our yard where one of our trees used to stand watch.  Later that day when the sun sent the nip in the air off to the mountains for a spa day River and I set out to dig'em up.  To say this activity was a success would be an understatement.  River loved being able to use "shobels" (aka shovels... to-may-to, to-mah-to) and tractors to dig up these little treasures so much that we spent 4+ hours outside doing just that.

We have entered the era of cheesey smiles :)

 

 

I managed to get some yard work in as well and to River's utter delight I found a toy car in the tangle of vegetation and dead leaves I was cleaning out by our deck.  It wasn't just any toy car either... it was Strip "The King" Weathers in all of his Dinoco blue glory which some of you may recognize if you have ever watched the movie "Cars" so many times you want to gouge out your eyes and ears every time your child asks to watch "Tow-Mater" again.  He also dug up his first earthworm which was again cause for much excitement and celebration.

This weekend we are off to Estes Park to enjoy the beauty of the mountains and to scare ourselves silly staying at the infamous Stanley Hotel.  It is absolutely beautiful, notorious, and inspirational for horror writers looking to write a good book about going crazy and trying to hack your family to pieces with an axe (All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy).  And Groupon generally has GREAT deals there once or twice a year so we are staying there for a reasonable price. It is rediculously expensive otherwise.  Bucket list item will be hacked crossed off this weekend :)

"I'm diggin' up bones, I'm diggin' up bones
Exhuming things thats better left alone
I'm resurrecting memories of a love that's dead and gone
Yeah tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones."

~ Diggin' Up Bones, Randy Travis

It's Not All "Woe Is Me"...

I promise!  We've been enjoying the beautiful warm weather here in Colorado, soaking it in and warming our souls in ways we haven't been able to the last 4-6 months.  I swear, for me, open windows with the sounds of the community surrounding our home could pull me out of any funk.  Kids playing, dogs barking, people happily chatting as they power walk down the street?  Try to top that concerto, Beethoven!  Add to that the lake thawing out and beckoning to us with its lazy waves?  It might just turn me into one of those "half full" people :)

Also, thanks to my new social media addiction... Pinterest... our play time has become so much more creative.  And the hat trick is complete! 

Check out these pictures from our "play cooking" adventure:

I just put random ingredients in a muffin tin like lasagna noodles that had been hanging around for too long to be useful, marshmallows, white chocolate chips, herbal tea bags, raisins, wheat berries, popcorn kernels, saltwater taffy and a sweet cutie.

Then gave him pots, bowls, measuring utensils, mixing spoons and spatulas and let him measure, mix and "cook" on the play stove (lid from a plastic storage bin).

This was the mix before it went into the pots to "cook."  River LOVED this and I loved this idea so much I started following Jessie at her blog called Play Create Explore.  She has great ideas for preschooler activities and I love that she isn't afraid to get messy.  As she says in her blog (and I'm paraphrasing)... what only requires 10-20 minutes of cleanup could make memories for your child(ren) for a lifetime.  Definitely worth it. 

Next activity for this weekend?  Hiding dollar store dinosaur bones in the freshly dug patch of earth in our yard where the beautiful Russian Olive tree stood until the crazy winds we've had round these parts pulled it up by the roots.  It was sad to see it go.  According to the number of rings I counted in the stump it was the same age as I am. 

We'll make the most of it, though, and River will just about think he died and went to heaven when he gets to dig up bones with his numerous tractor toys.  At least the tree went first instead of this horrible atrocity I found in one of the books we once checked out from the library:

Scoop and Muck, you should be ashamed of yourselves...  You are not invited to my hippy commune!

Humiliation...

Dear River,

You know I love you. We're tight. We're thick as theives. And I'm totally aware of the fact that you are only 2 years old. And that many years lay ahead of temper tantrums and public embarassment. And I won't blame you a bit. They come with the territory like diapers, sippy cups, and car seats. And if you ask Mimi she will tell you I threw the kind of temper tantrums you only hear about in books on parenting nightmares.

That said, would it be possible for me to make one tiny request? Really it isn't much. And I kind of think I have and will continue to earn this one... When you have a melt down in public could you make sure it isn't while we are in a parenting class? Because when I excuse us, make a break for the exit so the teachers can continue teaching without having to raise their voices above your tearful din, oh and then upset the other children when I have ask for them to return the toys you brought in I get "those" pesky looks from other parents. I hate those looks! You know, the ones that make me feel that perhaps the other parents should be the ones leaving and I should be the one sticking around.

Thanks a million, son. You're the best!

Love,
Mom

Humiliation... isn't that a virtue or something? Oh-no wait that is humility. Sorry, my bad.

Mother of the Year Award

As a mother I am constantly evaluating my mothering skills. Did I handle this tantrum well? Am I reading to him often enough? Should I have let him spend that extra 30 minutes in a wet diaper because I'm a hippy and hate to waste? I know I'm not alone. We women are overly critical (and sometimes even overly praising) of ourselves over what really is much more luck than we'd like to admit.

Though I tend toward the overly critical there is one thing I have managed to teach my son to do that I am rather proud of. No, I didn't mangage teach him:

• the names and capitals of all the states,


• how to read at a 5th grade level, or


• how to play a fiddle so well he most certainly would walk away from any contest with one of the golden variety.

It is something far more simple. And much more hilarious. I taught my son to laugh hysterically when someone burps or toots. Now wait! Before you go gasping in horror over the lack of manners for which I am advocating let me ask you this:

At the end of the day when you are stressed, when you're carrying burdens that feel they will break you down, how can you not follow suit when a cute little toddler dissolves into giggles after tooting twice in a row? Seriously, it is the Balm of Gilead to my soul. But then again, maybe I'm just too immature to be a mother.

Doh! There I go again :)

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~ e.e. cummings

Parenting Humble Pie

I once read in one of those funny emails you send to fellow parents about the joy, exasperation and never ending slew of surprises of parenthood that you should get all of the judgement of other people's parenting skills out of your system before you have kids because once you have them you will inevitably fall into the same trap as those you judge. This hit me because I know I have been guilty of this from time to time. Case in point: I always looked down on parents who would carry their children around without shoes in public. I considered it a sure sign of neglectful parenting verging on trashiness. I will NEVER do this I had convinced myself.

Then along came my beautiful, happy, all around PERFECT son, River. And of course from day one it was obvious that the kid had ginormous feet! And by big I don't mean really long, but wide and thick. You know those cute little tiny shoes you can buy for newborns? The ones that are so tiny you can't help but say "Awww" when you look at them? Yeah, those may have fit his feet a month or two prior to his birth while he was still in utero but "out utero" there was no way. Over the winter we relied heavily on socks (generally for ages at least 6 months older than he was) and slippers. But once spring and summer hit is was too hot for either of those and if we even dared try they would promptly be removed somehow by the wearer. We tried sandals because they had more give to accommodate the width of River's feet while providing more air for those little pups to breathe. But again, it was next to impossible to keep them on. He loved to chew on them and they fell off easily even when not provoked. We've tried cute shoes that seem to have flexibility but alas the size we have to buy to accommodate the width and breadth of his foot ends up almost twice the length of his foot making it look like he has clown shoes on. And so, with my head hung in shame I gave up on any form of footwear and let my child go barefoot. At home, at his nanny's and yes, even in public. I learned that day that sometimes, when the weather is appropriate, there are valid reasons why babies must go barefoot even in public. And when they do it is not a sign of neglectful parenting but a sign that, like me, their parents have resigned themselves to the reality that shoes are not always practical.

On occasions when I see "shoed" babies River's age or younger I get that pang of regret that I cannot do the same for my son. But mostly I have grown so accustomed to my nude footed son that I think it is really cute and give fellow parents of barefooted babies an extra big smile because perhaps they are feeling as self concious as I...