Bill Murray

Billy Murray - Due January 15, 2008, Born May 2007

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." ~ Jeremiah 1:5

First, I will explain why there is a picture of monkey in overalls with a guitar representing our little angel. On Bill Murray's due date we went to Build-A-Bear to make her tangible. We chose a monkey because we are goofy and LOVE to laugh. We added the sound of a lion's roar to her hand because we knew we would pass her down to her siblings and wanted them to know that she was there to watch over and protect them. And we gave her a little heart that said, "I am loved."

For a more detailed description of our story of how we found out we were expecting and how we found out we were returning our first child to the Lord read this post I wrote in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, October 15th. I don't want to write too much as I tend to fall into the over dramatic trap easily. Hey, what can I say? I minored in Theatre in college :) Instead I want to share with you some cute pictures of Bill Murray and River with some of my favorite quotes... which may be just as dramatic as my own words but it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and future.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11

"... those angels can't ever take [our] place..." ~ Tori Amos

"As Long As I Live You Will Live

As Long As I Live You Will Be Remembered

As Long As I Live You Will Be Loved" ~ Author unknown

(Good ol' fashioned sibling wrasslin')

"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" ~ Author unknown


"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller

(Shhhh! Don't tell Mom!)

"A family is a circle of love, not broken by a loss, but made stronger by the memories."

~Author Unknown

With infant or pregnancy loss the most commonly asked question is WHY? Why weren't we able to raise our daughter here on earth? It certainly could NOT be because we are dorks and potentially embarassing parents! I mean our family is completely, 100%, the exact definition of normal! As proof I submit to you the following:

See?!? Perfectly normal. And we most certainly DO NOT post embarrassing pictures of our children on the internet for the whole world to see.

We love you Bill Murray!

"I'll be home, I'll be home to take you in my arms." ~Tori Amos

A few thoughts on grieving before I close:

Shortly after we lost Bill Murray I read the following passage in the book of Job:

"Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place ... for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great." ~ Job 2:11-13

For those who have not lost it is often difficult to know how to support those who have. Job's friends were right on the money... at first, of course, for those of you who are familiar with the rest of the story. They cried with him, they mourned with him and "none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great."

The most comforting story I found after my miscarriage was a story my Mom told me about my niece. My Mom overheard her crying in her room one day. When she asked her what was the matter she said she was crying for her cousin (Bill Murray) who had passed away. It meant more than words can ever express to know that our pain was understood and felt by others. This January my sister texted me to let me know she was thinking about me knowing we would have been celebrating our child's 2nd birthday that month. Again, it meant more than words can ever express to me to know that I'm not the only one who hasn't forgotten.