I hate the Easter Bunny... oh, and Santa Claus, too. *UPDATED*

I wish it didn't have to be that way but it seems the past Christmas and Easter have me at odds with their secular mascots.  I wish I was one of those parents that got all teary eyed and excited about the opportunity to build memories for their children around the holidays.  Instead I wonder why I can't just build memories for my son every day and bristle at having to lie to my son about the existence of a large bunny rabbit and a fat man in a suit that just looks sweaty and uncomfortable.  Both of which break into your house at night, but that is okay and all because they leave gifts instead of taking them... like say a burglar... that would then need to be prosecuted and jailed for his actions.

Regardless, I sucked it up and did my best to create fond memories and decided to throw in a little creativity to make the whole experience more palatable.  Here are the obligatory pictures as proof:

Saturday Easter Egg Hunt at Church

River and his cousin T who seriously has a heart of gold and helped make sure River found plenty of eggs.

 I'm trying to get more creative with my picture taking...  Here is an example of my attempt at taking artistic egg hunt pictures.

This is what it looks like when a professional takes the picture!

Easter Sunday Gifts and Play

One of my biggest beefs about Easter gifts is that they are usually hokey or sugar fueled.  So I opted to purchase this rope bin, fill it with water, and a few water toys and let River enjoy the sensory/imaginative play.  He loved it and we will continue to use this bin with water, bird seed, rice and other fun materials to expand our range of play this summer.

We ended the weekend with a game night, a delicious bunny cake and one last egg hunt in the dark with my sister-in-law and her family. The egg hunt in the dark was a hit especially for my SIL's oldest daughter who is 12 and starting to feel "too cool" for childish holiday antics.  I didn't get any pictures of the actual hunt because I don't have a camera with a flash but we placed glow sticks or glow bracelets around most of the eggs and then used flashlights to find the rest.  It is certainly a tradition we will be repeating.  Lots of fun.

My SIL's Rabbit Cake.  De-effing-licious!

Just wanted to clarify the three main reasons why I don't like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus... First they detract from the true meaning of both holidays and I am one of those parents that wants my kid(s) to appreciate the TRUE meaning and significance of the holidays.  The significance is way cooler than some bunny and a fat man.  Second, I feel it can put unfair stress on parents to perform to a certain level.  I am Type A personality and thus I want everything I do to be perfect.  Unfortunately, I lack the creativity and time to really go all out and that feels like a failure to me.  Third, one of my biggest goals as a parent is to raise my kid(s) to appreciate living simply and desire to share our excess resources with those less fortunate than us.  I don't want to teach them (through excessive holiday gift giving) that they are entitled to gifts every time Hallmark wants to make a few billion extra bucks.

Call me overly sensitive.  It won't be the first time!

Arts and Laughs

Grief is such a funny thing.  It totally sucks but sometimes in the midst of it I become overwhelmed with the excitement of the possibility it brings.  The possibility for the expansion of who I am.  Though we are not trying to conceive right now (thankyouverymuch) I am still grieving my multiple losses amongst what seems to be a sea of women with much better luck than I.   As a result I have found myself craving two things to help me cope... the one I'm not surprised about is humor.  I always love a good laugh.  The other is a bit unexpected for left brained, engineering me... arts and crafts!

I was dreading the slew of upcoming births until I found a great combination of the two to keep me from hiding in my cave and avoiding everyone and anything that has to do with pregnant bellies and/or new babies. 

Arts and Crafts:

I've got a new obsession that I am sure many of you can relate to.  I believe it is the internet equivalent of Pringles (because seriously how addicting are they?) but it is spelled P-I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T.  In the countless hours I've spent on the site since Angie invited me I found the following that appeals to not only my desire for arts and crafts but the whole green, thrifty thing I've got going:

Recycling Old T-Shirts into Baby Gowns

(click image for link)

Thank you to This Mama Makes Stuff for posting this tutorial!  I hope I can brush up my sewing skills enough to make several of these for quick and easy "go to" gifts for baby showers.  I'm also hoping they will help keep me out of the baby aisles and that in the process of creating these super cute, and unique gifts I can sew through a few of my feelings.  Perhaps even tie up a few loose ends.

Humor:

Hugs and millions of thank yous to Jenny TheBloggess for making me laugh on a regular basis and for creating the funniest card to give to new parents... EVER!

I am going to buy a half dozen of these cards to accompany my cool sleep sacks.  It may not be your standard baby shower gift card but I feel it is far more honest to share my sense of humor than some schmoopy card about excitment and hope that I don't really feel.  If you love this card as much as I do you can buy it here.  And if you want to follow a blog that is always a great read check out Jenny here.

I'm off to order my cards and dust off my sewing machine...

"Get over your hill and see what you find there
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."
~ After the Storm, Mumford & Sons

And in case you are wondering, yes, taxidermied weasle cards are the epitomy of grace in my heart :)

You know you're a good parent when...

... the first thing your son says to you when he wakes up in the morning is,

"Mommy, sniff my toot."

River's Choice

I follow a blog on RSS Feed that is actually a series of comics written by Jess and Bert who are both Vietnamese adult adoptees. It is called Adopted the Comic. I love their comic/blog for so many reasons but first and foremost because it is such a huge relief as a voracious reader of the adoption blogosphere to have a place where we can go to laugh together. So much of what I read is gut wrenching, educational, sometimes accusatory and almost always emotionally taxing. Nothing is wrong with that. That is what I want. I want to learn. But I want to laugh, too. Laughter has mighty powers of healing and teaching, too. If humor was a drug I would be considered an addict :)

One of their most recent comics brought up a great question for me to consider and for you to consider if you are interested. (Note: this is a fun experiment even if you aren't an adoptive parent) Check it out here:

If Adoptees Could Choose

If the choice of adoptive parents was in the hands of adoptees how different would their adoptive parents look? For non-adoptive parents, if the choice of parents was in the hands of the child how different would their parents look? Because, really this question could be asked of any child. What choice did any of us have in who our parents are? In adoption, though, there is that period of time where the range of possible parents is almost infinite.

So, what do I think River's choice of adoptive parents would look like? Right now I think he would prefer adoptive parents that wouldn't foil his mischievous shenanigans, would allow him to destroy any laptop he so chose, would allow him to stay up all night and drink caffeinated beverages all day, and would let him live outside permanently, feral.

As he gets older I imagine he may wish his adoptive parents were more affluent than we are, didn't sing silly songs in public that embarass him, didn't insist on always eating whole, unprocessed, organic food because his friends totally aren't into that "stupid green stuff" and make fun of his packed lunches, played the sports he is interested in so that we could teach him to excel in them just like us, weren't LDS because it ain't no Sunday Only religion and some people think we are weird and part of a cult.

As he starts to process his adoptee status and what that means for him as he develops his identity what characteristics will be the most important to him? Would he prefer to have adoptive parents that could afford to send him to any college of his choice? Would he prefer to have adoptive parents with a large family so that he can have many siblings to play with and share his childhood with? Would he prefer those siblings to be adopted as well? Would he prefer to have adoptive parents that can afford to take him around the world so he has a more rounded view of world politics and the importance of diversity? Or will the simple things like letting him stay up late and eat fast food have the most importance to him? I don't really know yet. He is still too young to have any preference, really. But it is an interesting question to continue to ask myself throughout my journey as a parent. I think it just may be a great way to reevaluate my course and determine if I'm headed in the right direction. No, I'm not going to let him get away with murder, but I do want to be the adoptive mother he needs and would want me to be.

Here are some other great comics from the same site:

Parental Worries - My FAVORITE. Because while I know that adoption involves loss and grief it is comforting to know that I'm not the only category of parent that wonders if their child's behavior is a sign that I effed up. And I love the "Hey, as parents we are all going to eff up in some way or another so get over yourself!" message at the end.

Greatest Fear - Bert says in the written part of the post: "... this one comes from what seems to be a huge fear and elephant in the room for adoptive parents in that they fear having the conversation about adoption with their adopted kiddo(s). It’s almost like the “sex” talk (and if you think about it, you have to have the sex talk to have the adopted talk, so you should all think about that!).

Parents are always scared of it, probably because it’s new to them. But the funny thing is, for us adoptees, it just is. We don’t know any different and secretly chuckle at the fear. 'Hey, we’re adopted. Cool. Can I go back to playing video games now?'"

Arizona - Whether you agree with the way Arizona has decided to deal with illegal immigration or not you can't deny this is funny :)

Adoption Free and Funny Friday: Where does he come up with these things?

Every day on at least a few occasions I find myself with the overwhelming urge to climb into River's brain and figure out how it works. The way he works through things, what makes sense to him and what does not is almost an obsession of mine.

One of the things that River has struggled with has been language skills. He started out early with words like "light" and "kitty" at 11 months old. Then around 13 months he abandoned them in lieu of finger pointing and grunts. I don't blame him I mean really when you have two people hovering over you meeting your every need why bother with words? I'm sure any great king or pharoh would be able to tell you that.

Luckily over the past 6 months he has been slowly but surely working his way back into the speaking world. And I have found myself obsessed with the words he chooses to pick up on. Words that describe the things he loves like dog/doggie, car, or train hold no interest to him. Instead he prefers words like bubble, Ammon (the name of his nanny's dog), and tree. Monday he just randomly started saying the word "shoe." Then yesterday he started saying this gem...

boob

Yes, you read that correctly. He has started saying boob and is fully aware of what the word means. How do I know this? Oh, perhaps it is because he says the word over and over again while running after me with his finger pointed out trying to poke me in the...

boob

One might think that the word boob would rarely be used in daily conversation for a child to pick up on. Apparently, though, we must use boob quite often. I guess I have already written it 5 times in one sitting. Really it has to be one of the funniest words in the English language.

And I suppose he is a boy and all. But does the obsession have to start THIS early?

Boobies!

Humiliation...

Dear River,

You know I love you. We're tight. We're thick as theives. And I'm totally aware of the fact that you are only 2 years old. And that many years lay ahead of temper tantrums and public embarassment. And I won't blame you a bit. They come with the territory like diapers, sippy cups, and car seats. And if you ask Mimi she will tell you I threw the kind of temper tantrums you only hear about in books on parenting nightmares.

That said, would it be possible for me to make one tiny request? Really it isn't much. And I kind of think I have and will continue to earn this one... When you have a melt down in public could you make sure it isn't while we are in a parenting class? Because when I excuse us, make a break for the exit so the teachers can continue teaching without having to raise their voices above your tearful din, oh and then upset the other children when I have ask for them to return the toys you brought in I get "those" pesky looks from other parents. I hate those looks! You know, the ones that make me feel that perhaps the other parents should be the ones leaving and I should be the one sticking around.

Thanks a million, son. You're the best!

Love,
Mom

Humiliation... isn't that a virtue or something? Oh-no wait that is humility. Sorry, my bad.

Mother of the Year Award

As a mother I am constantly evaluating my mothering skills. Did I handle this tantrum well? Am I reading to him often enough? Should I have let him spend that extra 30 minutes in a wet diaper because I'm a hippy and hate to waste? I know I'm not alone. We women are overly critical (and sometimes even overly praising) of ourselves over what really is much more luck than we'd like to admit.

Though I tend toward the overly critical there is one thing I have managed to teach my son to do that I am rather proud of. No, I didn't mangage teach him:

• the names and capitals of all the states,


• how to read at a 5th grade level, or


• how to play a fiddle so well he most certainly would walk away from any contest with one of the golden variety.

It is something far more simple. And much more hilarious. I taught my son to laugh hysterically when someone burps or toots. Now wait! Before you go gasping in horror over the lack of manners for which I am advocating let me ask you this:

At the end of the day when you are stressed, when you're carrying burdens that feel they will break you down, how can you not follow suit when a cute little toddler dissolves into giggles after tooting twice in a row? Seriously, it is the Balm of Gilead to my soul. But then again, maybe I'm just too immature to be a mother.

Doh! There I go again :)

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~ e.e. cummings

Mr. Mischief

This evening while I made dinner for River and myself (Cory was asleep early with his round of the stomach flu that swept through our home this week) River toddled off with the dogs. After a few moments of silence (always a sign that the three of them are up to no good) I decided to investigate. This is what I found:


River and Lukin staring each other down over a bright yellow Easter Peep.

Like all kids River gets into plenty of mischief but add in a couple of hooligan dogs and suddenly the kid is Houdini. Or that kid that could run really, really fast in that 1980's show, "My Secret Identity." Remember, back in the day when Jerry O'Connell was a cute chubby little kid :)

Am I the only one?

I bought the following shirt for River to wear on his upcoming Adoption Day.

Am I the only one who gets it and thinks it is cute?
After describing the shirt to a few people I'm beginning to think I am :)

Embarassing Mommy Moment #173

This morning for the first time in almost a year I ventured over to the gym I have a membership to through work. I used to be pretty regular on Saturday mornings going first to the cardio room to run for 30 minutes then going to the yoga center for a yin-yoga class. After a full week of choosing chores over exercise in the morning I decided that I had earned this little indulgence.

As I was running out the door (late) I received an awesome hug from River as he and Cory enjoyed an after breakfast snack of chocolate. I threw on my coat and was out the door. I arrived in time to run for 15 minutes prior to the yin-yoga class and hopped on an eliptical machine quickly so as to get as much cardio in as possible. I ran into someone from church that I know and had a brief conversation with her before getting started. Half way through my run I realized some people were looking at me strangely. The girl on the eliptical a couple of machines away kept on stealing glances at me. I thought maybe they thought I was weird because I was wearing a long sleeved shirt... but that wasn't entirely probable as another woman in the room was wearing a sweatshirt. With 5 minutes left to go I removed my shirt to finish up the exercise in my sleeveless sports top. After finishing my workout I cleaned off the machine and hurried to redress as going to the yoga center requires going outside (where temps are in the teens) to another entrance. When I picked up my long sleeved shirt to put it back on I realized exactly why people where staring at me. The awesome hug from River turned out to be a very chocolatey one as well and I had chocolate smears on my shirt on not only one but both of the shoulders... and I still had an hour and fifteen minutes to spend in the company of a large group of people who don't know the story behind the smears or even what substance had made them.

Since yin-yoga is such a gentle workout there was no way I could make it through the entire session in my sleeveless sports top and my only alternative to the smeared shirt was my winter jacket. So I had to suck it up and ignore the voice in my head saying, "They're all going to laugh at you!" (a bit from a CD I used to listen to of Adam Sandler's stand up material) because I was determined to see my little indulgence through to the end. Who knows? It may be another year before I venture out to the gym again. And perhaps it would be a good thing :)

A game of cat and mouse.

I've so many posts that I have to put together that they are creating a serious traffic jam in my head. I will also have pictures of Montana and Halloween posted soon. However, I wanted to really quick tell a heart warming event I witnessed tonight before River went to sleep for the night.

Currently we have two dogs and one cat. And the cat, Louie (a girl), would be more accurately described as my cat. She was my cat for 3 1/2 years before I met Cory and once we started dating things went bad between the two of them. There is no love lost between Cory and Louie. They have a mutual hatred for each other. A deep seated and long running hatred that even my best efforts have yet to pacify. She has never had much patience for little kids either and of course (as it always seems to work out) River ADORES her! Though the dogs love River, want to play with him and take his pinches, smacks, and ear pulls in stride, River would prefer to play with Louie. Perhaps because she is smaller and has more colorful long fur, etc. than the dogs she has had more appeal to him. And it isn't just Louie. It is all cats. Samson, the cat at his Nanny Debbie's house is equally as interesting and Gala's cat Fig finally had to swat at River to get him to leave him alone when we visited them in Montana.

Tonight when I brought River downstairs to put him to bed he saw Louie laying at the bottom of the stairs and indicated with outstretched hands that he wanted to get down and play with her. Louie immediately got up as usual since she knows that River is still working on the whole concept of petting and is currently in the hitting/fur pulling phase. So she ran into the laundry room and River crawled after her. Then she ran out of the laundry room and into his nursery. He then proceeded to crawl after her. They continued this back and forth for almost 5 minutes straight. And River was having so much fun and giggling so mischievously that I was practically in tears laughing so hard. Finally I took River upstairs to see if I could rock him to sleep as he was now 1 hour past his bed time. As I related the story to Cory it finally dawned on me that Louie, the anti-child cat was PLAYING with River! If she was really that irritated by River she would have run off and hid or jumped up on the washer or drier to avoid him. I was so proud at that moment of my cat and my son for playing together. I hope they continue to do so because River just might be able to bridge that gap between his cat and his dad :)

Nothing like a little cat pee to get you motivated in the morning!

Two weeks ago I rushed home from work, quickly packed myself and River, fed everyone, bathed River and brushed all necessary teeth. We then packed our entire family (canine members included) in Cory's work truck and embarked at 8 pm on an all night drive from Ft. Collins, CO to Great Falls, MT. All said a 10 1/2 hour drive. Kudos to Cory (and his trusty engergy sodas for the assist) for driving all night after spending an exhausting day packing the truck and getting most everything ready. We arrived at 6:30 am the next morning. The purpose of the trip was to help my father-in-law with some major construction and remodeling projects around the house, and most importantly spend some much needed time with Gala, Papa Bear, Kelli, Angie, Brandon, Preston, Jodi, Jeremy, Noah, Jeremy (yes, there are two in the family one born into, one married into), etc.

Every day was exhausting, and every day was fun. My mother-in-law took advantage of having us in town and took all the grandkids in Great Falls at the time (only 5 of the total 16) to Sears for portraits. Let me tell you that was an adventure! 5 children ages 4 1/2, 21 mo., 1 year, and 3 mo. old twins. Tears were shed by all, adults included. Luckily we did get some cute pictures and Gala gave River a cute haircut and bought him an adorable little suit to match Preston and Noah's. We got to help dig out the foundation/root cellar area for their new green house using a rented Bobcat. That was fun as I hadn't been able to play around in one of those since I was back in college working for the Engineering Research Center making physical models of rivers. Angie dyed my hair. Black and auburn low lights. It looks super cute and she doesn't even have any formal training yet!

But I digress, because what I really want to talk about is cat pee. Yes, cat pee! Fast forward three days later. We left Great Falls around 8 pm and decided again to just drive straight through. This time it was a colaborative effort between Cory and myself. We got in to Ft. Collins at 7 am dirty, tired, and grumpy because not only had we driven all night but we had also been working hard outside all day prior to leaving. Immediately when we get in the house I hear the warbling meow of my cat Louie. The kind of meow indicating something is wrong. It also was a muffled sound which baffled me because she should have had free reign of the house. Well, much to my chagrin when I closed the door to River's nusery with the express purpose of keeping Louie OUT (she loves to lounge in or under his crib, in the bags of clothes in his closet, etc.) I accidentally closed her IN his nursery. When I opened the door out flew an angry, hungry, thirsty cat, and of course the pungent, dizzying odor of cat pee... Going to work the next day was officially out of the question as I refused to leave the pee festering for any longer than necessary.

Luckily, River's Nanny Debbie had a carpet shampooer and I purchased carpet cleaner at a Janitorial Supply store, the most effective I could find, pre-treated the areas where she peed and then shampooed all the carpet in his room. Did you know you can use a black light to see all of the organic matter on any surface? Well, I know this now and I effectively used this technique in my efforts!

The Good News: While giving the pre-treatment time to work I had some extra time on my hands and FINALLY got around to changing out all of the clothes in River's dresser and closet. Up until this point there were still size 0-3 month clothes in the mix. As a result I didn't have enough room for the clothes size 9-12 month so I was just pulling them out of a tub I had stored clothes this size that we had received as gifts or that were hand-me-downs from friends and family. I also put away all of the big items that are now too young for him like the swing we have and a gym/playmat. They are all now tubbed or bagged up for the next baby. I must say I did tear up as I put everything away. I love to watch how River grows and becomes more interactive each day but seeing all of the little clothes makes me wish he was able to stay that little for a little while longer. And I also was sad because I'm not sure if/when we will be able to have another baby. We couldn't afford fertility treatments or another adoption right now so hopefully good old fashion baby making will work for us this time around.

The Bad News: Unfortunately, though I've repeated this process several times the smell is still detectable. To minimize it we constantly have a fan going in his room and I plan on one last big clean this weekend involving some serious sudsing because apparently cat pee is oily and suds help break it up. Even still this carpet only has to last another month or so until we can finally get an appointment with the hardwood flooring company that Cory is going to exchange work with. Then we can replace the carpet in his nursery with the carpet in the living room (which is only 1 year old) that we are replacing with hardwood floors.

I will post pictures of our trip to MT soon! We didn't take out our camera once so I have to have my MIL and SIL Kelli email me the ones they took on their camera. Hint, hint to both of them if they are reading this ;)

Lessons in style

Have thin flat hair that doesn't respond to the usual mousses, gels, and hairspray? Or just on the go and don't have access to hair products but need a little volume? River says, "Smashed up Twinkies can be the solution to any hair woe."

Just follow these three easy steps:

1. Take 1/3 of a Twinkie and eat a small portion of it.
2. With the remaining portion get good and messy making sure to really smash it in your hands.
   
3. Fluff your hair while still covered in the Twinkie.

And the results speak for themselves...


Use strawberry cream filled Twinkies for a fun twist.

Why thank you, Lukin! I think I WILL help myself.

I assume that when you mix furry, four-legged children and regular, human children, cross species food consumption is inevitable, right? Already our dogs have started taking up post under the table during dinner time knowing bits of what River is eating will find their way to the floor convinently within their reach. But yesterday and today River decided what's good for the goose (Nico and Lukin) is good for the gander (himself) and has helped himself to 2 pieces of dog food. The first piece was almost fully recovered from his mouth but this morning I thought I was on top of the dog food issue and as a result of my cockiness didn't catch the second piece until it was almost fully consumed. Yuck!

Normally, this would only be an issue when baby finds doggy's food bowl, see's interestingly colored, bite sized morsels placed on baby's level in a bowl. This issue is easy to correct. Simply keep baby away from doggy's food bowl. Yeah, not so easy in our house. Our male dog Lukin has a very odd habit that we assume is his way of letting Nico, our female, know who is boss. It all started when we bought cheap Ol' Roy Dinner Rounds (Walmart brand) dog food to mix in with their healthier more expensive food as a fun treat. To say that they love the Dinner Rounds would be an understatement! When the Rounds are mixed in with the healthier food they will pick out and eat only the Dinner Rounds until they get too hungry to hold out on the rest. Shortly after we first started buying the food Lukin would pick some of the Dinner Rounds out of his bowl, carry them in his mouth to wherever he was lounging in the house and then drop them 1-2 feet away from where he was laying. That way he could make Nico jealous, tempt her into trying to steal them and then scare her away when she tried. He likes to do this with most treats. We've since decreased the frequency of Dinner Rounds for this exact reason but he has kept up the habit with the regular, old, boring, healthy dog food. So it is not uncommon to have at least a dozen pieces of dog food in various places around the house because, of course, he never eats the food he takes around the house he just gives up on it if Nico isn't interested. Only to try it again 1-2 hours later with a new mouthful of food hoping for better results.

Since River started crawling and getting into every possible corner in the house Cory and I immediately increased our dog food patrol efforts. However, it seems as though Lukin has increased his dog food spreading efforts as both dog food consumption events occured when I was under the impression the floor was dog food free.

Dear River,

I know you are just learning how to chew and eat "grown up" food like Mommy and Daddy and I know that you are so excited to finally be mobile so you can explore your environment. I also know that when you put the two together those little bit size morsels Lukin leaves around the house for you must be very difficult to resist. But seriously, son... seriously... eating dog food is SO GROSS! So let's make a pact. Mommy will promise not to pop your pimples if you promise not to eat Nico and Lukin OR Louis' food!

Let's shake on it!

Love,

Mommy

A Compliment from Collin

My nephew Collin recently gave my dad a compliment that will definitely go down in our family history as one of the best. My dad, like most men his age (50+) has a little less hair up top than he did when he was young. Think Homer Simpson with more hair around the sides.

(my parents)

"Papa, I really like your hair. Do you think I could do my hair like you when I'm your age? I really like it. It's like a reverse mohawk."

(Collin)

Ahhh, how beautiful the simple logic of a child! And how brutally honest the words that come out of their mouths...

(Collin and Abby)